Things that make ya go “hmmm…”.~arsenio hall , talk show host of the 90’s
I was just thinking about something with Jesus.
Hubby and I have friction over whether to go out or stay home quite a bit.
We have regular dates
1. once a week for conflict resolution
2. and once a week for fun.
And he will often say he wants to stay home.
While I have been home all the time and want to get out of my sickbed and see something beside my walls.
This song came to my mind as I was pondering……so I looked it up on YouTube and was listening to it again prayerfully with God.
I suddenly saw that this– our home– is my husband’s Oasis.
he’s safe here.
He can rest and relax and let his hair down in respite.
Of course he would not want to leave it!
It’s sweet that he wants me to be in it with him.
I think instead of being resentful at him and thinking he wants me to be constricted and limited,
I will reframe it reboot my heart
and find it endearing
that he wants to be safe at home with me.
We still need to compromise maybe every other time we can go out or something. I need that.
it helps me to understand where he’s coming from you know?
Proactive. Ok living with said flaw in my man. How do I do it?
- Mental discipline.
- Remind mySELF of the truth
- What this marriage means to me. What did I promise. Love Is a friggin’ choice.
- Valuable things require sacrifice
- What are the good things about him? Is he a good provider? Is he funny? Is he a good lover? Is he sweet to our girls? Is he a good cook? Does he balance the check book to the penny?
I try to keep short accounts. You know? I don’t let little stuff build up. I take care of those little irritations before I get mad. Make sure to thank him and say he’s made a difference and I feel better just by talking.
Pray. I dont pretty things up for God. He already knows, right? look at.psalms: God wants truth in my inward parts.
Exercise. Go for a walk. Endorphines! And gripe to God while you are at it. It helps.
Take a break. Sit down. Turn the stove off. (Dinner can be late. No one ever went to hell for that. Bitter words on the other hand…)
Don’t let blood sugar get too low. Grab a celery stick or some peanut butter.
shut up and pray. (Stormie Omartian power of a praying wife. Oh. My. Socks. Buy it. Highlight it. wear it out.)
Seriously girls, I still have to rezone myself and realize I have gotten bossy and reboot and add balance and remind myself about his great qualities…..all the time!
Bi weekly conflict dates tuesdays Bi weekly fun dates thursdays. Cheaper than a divorce. Thin smile.
(it only works if Tuesday is the only time I strive to criticize. Then I pray.)
I work to accept my man the way I want him to accept me:
- The flirtatious friendship
- The favoritism
- The overwork
- Not living out our priorities
Those are the things I go to the mattresses over.
But I rob my words of punch if I am often fussing at my man.
I try to make my words count. And I make sure I’m fighting for the relationship. And not just to get my way.
My way is nice and all–who doesn’t like their way?– but is it nicer than a peaceful, content lifestyle and harmony and well-being and happy kids and lovely sex?
I gotta be strategic.
And then I pray my guts out. Did I mention that?
I love Jesus so much you guys!
He is the most incredible person I’ve ever come in contact with and I want to be in His frickin POCKET. 💕
(what would i do if He was a jerk? Ummmm…. He’s God)
I love the Father I need a Dad right now. Telling me I’m gonna make it.
I love the Holy Spirit even though He freaks me out sometimes
I had to get that out.
relationship is hard you guys!
- My man and I just had another argument. I don’t say fight because (we’ve had those) We actually both had real points that we were TRYING to communicate. Not just trying to hurt each other.. Ya know?
- We had to go on a drive to a park so we could yell without upsetting our kids!
- I think the stress of this pandemic combined with slowing down and staying home a lot is bringing stuff to the surface that was already there.
So am I just airing my dirty laundry?
I don’t think so. Well maybe just a little, but …
- The point is to help others feel like we’re in this together. Like they are not the only ones with their issues hanging out all over the place.
We’ll pull through.