Family Destiny 🌷

(Jesus help me say this well.

#helpful

#courage-building)

I just woke up from a dream. (I know, lame-o.  But just gimme a minute.)

It was multi-racial: I remember that much.

Lots of children.

There was scholarship awarded–to paint with a master artist.
I seemed to be both of my daughters sometimes. (💕one of my daughters doesn’t see us anymore–complicated dysfunctional reasons–so this was poignant.)

Our family was so excited when we won the scholarship!

 

We all were working, the children and me, with wide brushes over a chalked in design: think luminous purples…a  bunch of colors, though: more than I had ever seen.

It was lovely.

My family and I were all in a huge building with endless connected hallways.
I had bucco fun in my wheelchair ♿ Sailing down the halls with them.

It seemed to be all downhill: it was like flying!

I wanted to put my arms out like in that scene in the Titanic.

Then there was a bunch of scenes in the dream(??!)  with an infestation of cockroaches. (Represents evil?)

We got em. Every single one.

#significantandstrangelysatisfying

It was a huge team of related people.

All ages and colors.

Like heaven is going to be.

When Mother’s Day hurts:

I had a nightmare about my children last night and was seeking comfort in the scriptures and worship.

thankful for His kindfaithfulsteadysupportive presence.

I am just going to offer something, because I know this is a hard day for lots of people as well.

Motherhood has not been all that we thought it would be has it? 

Whether it’s undiagnosed mental illness and addiction that stole MY dreams of what motherhood should be like or infertility and chemicals in the environment or a difficult marriage or a grueling health diagnosis or grinding job that stole what motherhood should be like from YOU…

It’s not been

what we thought it would be

or wished it would be

has it?

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I was thinking of 2 Corinthians where Paul talks about learning to live with his mistakes from before he was a Christian. At least that’s how I interpret it reading between the lines.

That sounds iffy; I don’t mean to be adding or subtracting with scripture.

Just imagining what the people’s lives were like it or what their frame of reference might have been like you know?

This one thing I do:

forgetting what is behind

and pressing on to what is ahead…

I count all things as loss in order to gain the prize of Jesus.

Phillipians 3 and 2 Corinthians

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I was also thinking of eagles.

I looked up facts about them when I was trying to understand Isaiah 40. They use the energy of the storm and the energy of the obstacle and the energy of their height and they lock their wings and sore and ride the thermals.  

Like when there’s a storm they will just fly right into it on purpose and then use it to get up over it or navigate around it.

Jesus I want to be like an eagle: I want to soar using the heartbreaking things the enemy would like to destroy me with

using those very things and triumphing over evil with good.

Like You did.

The Absalom Club🌻

Engaging Today’s Prodigal

by Carol Barnier


​”People with a passion for a particular ministry most often come with a burden born of a previous experience.

” It scars them, yes. But it also equips them in ways the unscarred cannot attain. 

“Ego check: Don’t ever get caught up in thinking you’ve thus done your child a favor by providing these scars that God can now use in miraculous ways. The harm you’ve done was never God’s wish. Your actions were still wrong. You’re fortunate that God’s actions are always right. 

“But this last bit of good news should magnify your hope and your prayers for your child.

 “Continue in your belief that his\her life can be beautiful. Pray that God will bless him\her with His artistry in her life. 

“Pray that he\she will be open to His voice and His profound desire to make something good out of her pain. 

“Pray. Pray. Pray. And you may yet see a miracle.”

 

Hope

Rough Season– don’t you think?

 I’m surprised we’re still here, aren’t you?

I have now listened to the Ps 121, Ps 37, Ps 18 and\or Rick Warren, Joyce Meyer, Beth Moore, RT Kendall, Steven Furtick and a bunch of other sermons and scripture.

Roughly 32 billion times.

i love 💕 it

Conclusion…we are going to make it guys. 

strengthandcourage.That is what I am talking about.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That’s in 2 Corinthians.

#gonnamakeit

God is not going to overestimate my stress capacity.  He’s got the specs…….

For my soul.

The Bible says “He formed my inward parts in the secret places”  ps 139.  That has got to include capacity indications.

Like I know how many corn dogs my kids will eat when I’m cooking. Like I know how much ⛽ to put in my car when I’m filling it.

I have to start by giving it to Jesus

asking for His help just to breathe.

trust God.

He’s got the specs:

Unfairness


Lord God  our Father,
No one gets to live on this earth

without getting touched

by injustice or betrayal. 


No one.


You know about injustice and betrayal–for certain.



Two specific things come to mind that I am heartsore over: three betrayals within my own extended family system and/or neighborhood.

I’m sorry for hanging on to these bitter thoughts for so many years, God.  You have forgiven me of tons of yucky stuff–I release _____ now, with You helping me.

  Help me to go forward as a free woman, Jesus. 

It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand fast in it, and do not submit again to that yoke of bondage.

Don’t let me get distracted, Father.  I want to walk in freedom.

I want to take Your yoke and learn from You. 

I am exhausted and stressed out:

give me rest for my soul, God.
Amen.

Common ground


Lord God our Father,
No one gets to live on this earth

without getting touched

by injustice or betrayal. 


No one.


You know about injustice and betrayal–for certain.



Two specific things come to mind that I am heartsore over: three betrayals within my own extended family system and/or neighborhood.

I’m sorry for hanging on to these bitter thoughts for so many years, God.  You have forgiven me of tons of yucky stuff–I release _____ now, with You helping me.

  Help me to go forward as a free woman, Jesus. 

It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand fast in it, and do not submit again to that yoke of bondage.

Don’t let me get distracted, Father.  I want to walk in freedom.

I want to take Your yoke and learn from You. 

I am exhausted and stressed out:

give me rest for my soul, God.
Amen.

🌻 re-center

Father 

Our Papa,

I need Your steady-ing, kind hand right now.

I need You to make me a cup of tea and tell me that everything that is going badly in my 🌎 right now will sort itself out.
 my FATHER

You teach that You are humble and gentle in heart, 

and i will find rest for my soul

when i

Weary

Heavy-hearted

 come to You.

Spontaneous combustion🌻

🙏

I love Jesus so much you guys!

He is the most incredible person I’ve ever come in contact with and I want to be in His frickin POCKET. 💕

(what would i do if He was a jerk? Ummmm…. He’s God)

I love the Father I need a Dad right now. Telling me I’m gonna make it.

I love the Holy Spirit even though He freaks me out sometimes

I had to get that out.

🌻