If, through the process of healing and growth, you have found yourself in that in-between place that feels like an abyss, understand that He is the pro at restoring the years you feel have been lost. Don’t try to construct a spaceship to get you back to earth as quickly as possible. Most of us are ill-equipped to man, much less assemble, that ship. He IS working all things together for good, even if you cannot see or fathom it. Leave space for the space. **Fellow wordpress blogger kerri on purpose
Up hurting at 3am about our prodigal.
We lost our son to another family and to the gay lifestyle.
It’s feels like he died.
He even changed his name.
The whole thing is such a mess. I feel at fault. I wish I had not struggled with mental illness all those years. I wish I had not done so many things. I really screwed up.
I feel God encouraging me to trust Him this mourning–i mean, morning.
God help us. We need you. Our hearts are broken. I know you get it. You left the ninety and nine to come find us, right? (Matthew 18)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NIVUK
My husband prays for our lost son every morning. It’s like his thing.
You might know this: we have prodigal son.
I think about him every day.
Wake up hurting over his rejection every morning.
I grew up knowing this story from the Bible.
I never thought about what the prodigal mom must have been feeling.
I don’t want to get all mushy here. Life goes on.
As my hubby reminds me often: we have four other kids who are still here. True. And this grief has been life shaping for all of us.
His siblings miss him too.
I also never thought of that (prodigal’s siblings), growing up with this story told in Sunday school.
It’s like he died, you guys.
Whew that hurts! Reboot my heart.
I still have
summer rain. Jesus send us some for the fires. Send us some for our broken hearts.
Play dough. Esp red play dough. The salty smell. Nothing like it. Opening a new perfect can. Remember?
Bread dough, which is play dough for grown ups.
Trying a new recipe. Yesterday I made lemon bars.
“Love Punch” with Emma Thompson and Pierce Brosnan. Love that movie. Seen it four times. Highly recommended.
Help us Jesus. It’s hard down here sometimes. 🌻