‘My people have been lost sheep; their shepherds have led them astray and caused them to roam on the mountains. They wandered over mountain and hill and forgot their own resting-place.
Jeremiah 50:6 NIVUK
(from a blog I follow. #encouraged. #wannabethat. #BEthething.)
“Salt.
“It not only enhances the flavor of our food, but in addition, it serves as a preservative. To be the “salt” in this dying world, we are to flavor the world with God’s love and His Word but even more-so, we press on firmly to preserve our faith. With everything in us, we need to guard and preserve our hearts, … ”
“Light.
“Think about the darkest of rooms. It’s bleak, hard to see or make out any shadows and can be very disconcerting. There is uncertainty. But one little flicker of light produces clarity.
“The chair that you tripped over in the dark is now revealed by that one little spark. Think of that for a moment. In a world full of darkness, just one Christ follower can light up a whole room and strike out the darkness…..by our faith, by our witness, and by our love….
I went to sleep worried about my closely related offender, and feeling guilty for unfriending him. His life is so pathetic and sad! You know?
It’s complicated when you grew up with your offender.
I’ve always felt super responsible for this person. I know how bad it was for us growing up: I was there.
Some of you will know exactly what I am talking about.
Ambivalence. That’s what the text books call it.
Disturbing.
That’s what it’s like
when someone you love
is
someone you also need to be afraid of.
Most of my nightmare was about me trying to convince my family of a rather unusual thing:
that this guy is capable of killing me and my kids and they need to not tell him where I live.
And them
not being able to
believe me.
Yikes.
I want to blog this So that other people who love and also fear their family members, and people whose family choose not to believe them about crimes that have been committed…can know they are not alone. 🌷
first, I have been walking through the hardest time I’ve ever known the last ten years or so. Ugh. I feel like Mrs Job sometimes!
So many tears and sleepless flashback-ey nights (is that a word?) and lonely achey broken-heart and whatnot. You know the drill.
I got so desperate that I had to start a blog for myself (and hopefully others too, but honestly that did not really occur to me until the last year or so. I was just desperate for encouragement myself. #surviVal
–I am by far my best follower, and that’s okay. (💰 where my 👄 is.) But if I can help other PEOPLE, that is ESPECIALLY when I start to love it.
My friends and family cannot carry me. I found that out at about six months of being sick. They cannot babysit me. Would I really want them too? It would kind of spoil it.
NOT that I don’t think they’re all FABulous, cause they are and I totally do.
#luckygirl
So here I am.
And my psychological issues are so monumentally difficult for me that I need to remind myself and re-center many times each day. My blog let’s me do that.
—I don’t think my life is any harder than yours, btw, it’s just mine you know? I bet some of you could tell stories that would top mine by about ten miles.—
I named my blog REBOOT MY HEART because that’s what I need to do. 🌻 and maybe I’m not alone.🌻
Me and God are determined to break my family cycle of ritual abuse and witchcraft and mental illness and crime and depression and anxiety…
…for the sake of my children and their children and their children. (God enabling me, of course. )
Know what I mean? I mean with you’re own stuff.
Jesus.
We need YOU.
come. 🌻
Fill us and
light up our world 🌎
You are amazing God. We are comPLETELY in love with YOUR gentle, kind, wise ways. 💕🌻🌷😁,
What would we do if You were a jerk? Umm…you’re GOD.
But You’re not. A jerk, I mean. 😍
Show Yourself strongly to me and my friends and help us all to believe in fairy tales and poetic justice and happy endings again.
One of the parts of my illnesses–that I am getting better and better at fighting—
is wanting to take my own life—
*Wanting the pain to stop.
*Wanting to quit this long distance life-race.
*Wanting to decide__God-like__that I have suffered “enough” and I am going to kill myself.
*Wanting to take my life into my own hands
Social tabooPeople don’t talk about thisenough__and that’s flat.
Part of the healing in group therapy is talking and listening, right? Finding out that your feelings are normal. I mean, right?
next time someone tells me “I just want to kill myself”…
I’m going to say, without batting an eyelid,
I’m sorry. I hate it when I feel like that.Then just sit there and be at peace with them. And maybe go for an 🍨.
Just sayin’
