Forgiving myself 🌻

“Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive,” C.S. Lewis wrote. ” I think Peter would have agreed. He knew pontificating about forgiveness was a whole lot easier than practicing it. “It’s the doing that gets tough. “But it’s the doing that should characterize the child of God. To returnContinue reading “Forgiving myself 🌻”

Rough Season– don’t you think?

 I’m surprised we’re still here, aren’t you? I have now listened to the Ps 121, Ps 37, Ps 18 and\or Rick Warren, Joyce Meyer, Beth Moore, RT Kendall, Steven Furtick and a bunch of other sermons and scripture. Roughly 32 billion times. Conclusion…we are going to make it guys.  strengthandcourage.That is what I am talkingContinue reading “Rough Season– don’t you think?”

our Absalom

Up hurting at 3am about our prodigal. We lost our son to another family and to the gay lifestyle. It’s feels like he died. He’s just…..gone. He even changed his name. The whole thing is such a mess. I feel at fault. I wish I had not struggled with mental illness all those years. IContinue reading “our Absalom”

What if they can’t \won’t receive my ammends?

This Is what swearing is for. Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. When we have REALLY screwed the pooch… Like neglectContinue reading “What if they can’t \won’t receive my ammends?”

Flashback nightmare: recovery 4-1-1

Just Woke Up. Heart racing. Breathing shallow. Palms clammy. It was so real! Go potty. Get a drink. Move slowly and carefully. Pray. Frontal attack. FatherGod, I ask in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth God come in the flesh for Your angels to inspect the canopy over my house. Please remove any uncleanContinue reading “Flashback nightmare: recovery 4-1-1”

reboot my ❤️

Loneliness is like a really cranky, mega-experienced, universally difficult, really old science teacher.  Once you get past the crusty parts, she can be a total sweetheartwhowouldgiveyoutheshirtoffherback and your favorite. It’s part of my life. It’s here for this growth season. I can fight it – And get a detention or get to respect it –Continue reading “reboot my ❤️”


Think about such things. Philippians 4:8 Woke up hurting over our prodigal. Early morning waking. Normal part of rethinking a trauma. 🌻 Super fun. 😬 frozen smile This verse instructs me. There’s things that are yucky. Nothing I do will change that. 💔 But I can control how I think about them. I want YouContinue reading “FACTUALLY”

My patch

Or is your valley less defined—a hard to describe cloud of doom that descends on your best thoughts, turning life into a shadowy mist of confusion? If so, God is offering to walk with you through this valley. He does not lead you to the valley, but He promises to lead you THROUGH it. ThisContinue reading “My patch”