Rough Season– don’t you think?

 I’m surprised we’re still here, aren’t you?

I have now listened to the Ps 121, Ps 37, Ps 18 and\or Rick Warren, Joyce Meyer, Beth Moore, RT Kendall, Steven Furtick and a bunch of other sermons and scripture.

Roughly 32 billion times.

i love 💕 it

Conclusion…we are going to make it guys. 

strengthandcourage.That is what I am talking about.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That’s in 2 Corinthians.

#gonnamakeit

God is not going to overestimate my stress capacity.  He’s got the specs…….

For my soul.

The Bible says “He formed my inward parts in the secret places”  ps 139.  That has got to include capacity indications.

Like I know how many corn dogs my kids will eat when I’m cooking. Like I know how much ⛽ to put in my car when I’m filling it.

I have to start by giving it to Jesus

asking for His help just to breathe.

trust God.

He’s got the specs:

🌻 self-hatred

This has been one of the strangest parts of my recovery.

And

The longest lived.

I don’t think I am the only one.

I don’t have to cut myself or do meth or some obviously malevolent action to express my ill wishes toward me.  Though self-harm and drug use are real problems for some of us; we can find more subtle ways to be mean.  It’s a thing.

I doubt I am the only one. Right?
I have absolutely refused myself aid and forgiveness many times.

I have made self-destructive choices: whether it’s

  • bingeing on sugar
  • refusing myself exercise
  • staying up past my bedtime
  • Not dressing warmly when It’s cold (there’s more to that than it seems)
  • Denying myself good food (because we have to save that for ___)

It’s like I have wanted to punish myself for being abused, for being weak, for betraying myself, especially for being a bad mom.  (That one hurts!)

I’m my 50th year, I think I am finally gonna defeat this Goliath.  At least do some SERious damage.

It’s time for a rematch. 🌻

God give me one thing

by which

I can do good

to myself

today.

Time to make myself a cup of tea ☕ and partake of some yoga.  I like this one:  yoga for sciatica with adriene

because I can do the exercises from my bed.  #baby steps

Be well my friend.

Let us all be well.  Even folks who have ________ and regret it soooo much .🌻