Woooord. Pastor Mike!

“Most of us spend so much time hating things about ourselves that we don’t realize we’re crippling our ability to love others.

There’s no way you can figure out how to love somebody else well in a relationship if you have not first figured out how to love yourself. ” ~pastor Michael Todd

Oh My Socks, you guys!

I definitely had an aha moment.

with Jesus.

this morning.

because of this.

the reason ~ well one reason ~ I have so much trouble loving my neighbor is because I don’t like myself.

However…I am getting better!

it has been extremely difficult for me to forgive myself for some of my parenting mistakes.

Like I said: I’m working on it with Jesus and I have definitely found that,

as I’m learning to forgive myself.

and love myself.

and give myself a break,

and move on….

I am becoming a better parent and friend and wife and child.

Good grief 🙄

🙏 so…I have started thinking about my friendships, right?

This might be TMI. You have been warned.

Who do I like? Who loves God? Who sees the world like I do?
Which people can I help 🤔 ? Who could maybe help me back?
Can I manage a visit with my health?
So yesterday, I asked an acquaintance out for ☕.


RECOMMENDED ~ Holly Furtick’s last sermon on support systems:

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This friend and I did a car date because I was too tired 😫 to get out of the vehicle. She works with special needs people so she probably got it. Actually, I think it was her idea.

It was so fun, you guys!!
We went to Dutch Bros and got ☕ then a park
We talked and talked.

But then ….. dah dah dummm……💩poosplosion. Oh no!
It was everywhere! It was uncontrollable!

At least I didn’t get it in her car.

At least my discreet undies did their job.

At least it held off ’til I was in my house trying to say goodbye.


However, ⛅ of flies were following me into my bedroom, .

It was mortifying

Now : I have avoided this person for days.

This is dysfunctional, I am aware of that fact, thank you very much.

TODAY, I will beard the lion and see if we can get over this.

Wish me luck!

Reboot my ❤


I’m thankful:

Photo by Ann Nekr on Pexels.com

vegetables 😋 all the colors and textures!

Forgiveness that sets me free. #overcomeevilwithgood

Crayons–a new clean box. The smell. Burnt sienna. Goldenrod. Turquoise. Silver. Brick. Magenta. True red.

Clean bathrooms and kitchens.

Lemon 🍋 oil

Email–how did we function without this?

Queen Anne’s Lace

tulips

clean, quiet pools

early morning bird song

quiet gray Dawn so full of promise

baking cookies

Epsom salt bath

Kitty purrs and soft fur

my Collie’s trusting liquid Brown honest gaze

Rough Season– don’t you think?

 I’m surprised we’re still here, aren’t you?

I have now listened to the Ps 121, Ps 37, Ps 18 and\or Rick Warren, Joyce Meyer, Beth Moore, RT Kendall, Steven Furtick and a bunch of other sermons and scripture.

Roughly 32 billion times.

i love 💕 it

Conclusion…we are going to make it guys. 

strengthandcourage.That is what I am talking about.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That’s in 2 Corinthians.

#gonnamakeit

God is not going to overestimate my stress capacity.  He’s got the specs…….

For my soul.

The Bible says “He formed my inward parts in the secret places”  ps 139.  That has got to include capacity indications.

Like I know how many corn dogs my kids will eat when I’m cooking. Like I know how much ⛽ to put in my car when I’m filling it.

I have to start by giving it to Jesus

asking for His help just to breathe.

trust God.

He’s got the specs:

Unfairness


Lord God  our Father,
No one gets to live on this earth

without getting touched

by injustice or betrayal. 


No one.


You know about injustice and betrayal–for certain.



Two specific things come to mind that I am heartsore over: three betrayals within my own extended family system and/or neighborhood.

I’m sorry for hanging on to these bitter thoughts for so many years, God.  You have forgiven me of tons of yucky stuff–I release _____ now, with You helping me.

  Help me to go forward as a free woman, Jesus. 

It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand fast in it, and do not submit again to that yoke of bondage.

Don’t let me get distracted, Father.  I want to walk in freedom.

I want to take Your yoke and learn from You. 

I am exhausted and stressed out:

give me rest for my soul, God.
Amen.

Happy to be stuck with you

Do you ever wonder what Abigail and Nabal were really like? #Good story (I Samuel 25) I always thought she was a spineless, codependent wuss.
Abi Wuss
But I think I might have misjudged her. Maybe she just believed in Nabal and loved him and he was her best friend and they had been through stuff together–births, miscarriages, deaths in the family, starting a business, Christmases and birthdays, mac’n’cheese and filet mignon—you know, stuff. Maybe she just wouldn’t give up on him.

               #wannabethat

Maybe she just believed in her Nabe.

And if Nabe failed her, then fine: in God.

Maybe she just wanted to keep her wedding promises.

Maybe she just wanted to trust in God about Nabal and wanted to do right by Him.


I don’t know
.


But...

I can trust God with my marriage 😍


My man loves his family. He has bucco good qualities.

My man wants to be a good husband and father. More than anything. He tries really hard; I know some of what he’s had to overcome.

And maybe I’m not always a peach either.

(Just sayin’.)


#stickwithhim.

Things to 💕

“Sarah Plain and Tall” – the book 📚 or the movie🍿

Good, hard-working, honest mechanics

Lady bugs, spiders, and chickens – the warriorguard of the home garden

Binge-watching “Sherlock Holmes” with Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch

It’s at 221B

The sound of rain 🌧️ on the window

english cream tea

Precious Ramotswe and Mma Makutsi

Walking my dog 🐕

Crackling fires

Thankful for a 🌎 with such wonderful things in it.

Deep cleansing breath 🌾

Great devotions at my YouVersion today

We’re reading about hope in the midst of heartbreak.

Here’s what I was telling my friends:

This is remarkable to me. 🌻 encouraging.🌻
Heartening. 🌻
I have been stuck ( mostly ) in bed for eight years.

Sick for ten years.

I feel forgotten often.

Picked on.

Unfairly treated.

It’s like I’m in prison.

In my own body.

I CLING FOR DEAR LIFE to Jesus.

No choice.

Sink or swim.
I love hearing, as I read my youdevo or my blog, that I’m not alone.
Cheers.

🌻🌷🌻🌷🌻🌷🌻

Open.

Minds.

Open.

Hearts.

I love You God. You are the One Who sees me.