Woooord. Pastor Mike!

“Most of us spend so much time hating things about ourselves that we don’t realize we’re crippling our ability to love others.

There’s no way you can figure out how to love somebody else well in a relationship if you have not first figured out how to love yourself. ” ~pastor Michael Todd

Oh My Socks, you guys!

I definitely had an aha moment.

with Jesus.

this morning.

because of this.

the reason ~ well one reason ~ I have so much trouble loving my neighbor is because I don’t like myself.

However…I am getting better!

it has been extremely difficult for me to forgive myself for some of my parenting mistakes.

Like I said: I’m working on it with Jesus and I have definitely found that,

as I’m learning to forgive myself.

and love myself.

and give myself a break,

and move on….

I am becoming a better parent and friend and wife and child.

Anger has a good side?

Dysfunctional learned response?

The transformative power of well-managed anger improves relationships

How can anger improve the quality of your relationships?

…. Anger doesn’t want you to contain it; 

this emotion informs you of what bothers, hurts, or harms you so you can change it.

Ready to listen

to change things

to communicate.

It wants you to act.

Goal: to improve your life.

(Exploring Your Mind blog: The Transformative Potential of Anger.)

Flip side 🌻🌷🌻

https://bible.com/bible/113/pro.12.18.NIVUK

I found it! Another thing that getting sick for years has given me. At long last:

the gift of silence

  • Golden, beautiful
  • Perfectly beneficial
  • Exactly timed

When I was a young woman, I was reckless and unstoppable with my words. Bull in a china shop.

It served me well.

“Well, it’s TRUE”

was my mantra and the only measuring stick I used for my words.

Growing up in a home with child abuse in it:

  • that I had to live with
  • that no one would believe me about
  • that no efforts of mine would ever seem to change

caused me to NEVER WANT to be silenced again.

Even when I should be quiet.

I made a vow: When I get out of here, no one is ever going to shut me up again.

It turned me into a monster: I couldn’t be silenced.

  • Even when I wanted to.
  • Even when it was in my best interests to remain silent.
  • Even when I talked to myself before a social function and said now Jennifer, I want you to be quiet this time.

nope. nada. not a possibility babe.
I couldn’t do it.

Open mouth. Blat my brains out.

Then came the inevitable

  • Tense silences
  • Frozen smiles
  • Hurt feelings

Yikes!

It feels good to be able to hold my peace now. It’s a pleasure I’m learning to love.

...mostly im just too gibley tired to shoot my mouth off. #veryhelpful #autoimmunestuff

My fearless truth-telling has served me well in the past.

I honor it.

But I’ve outgrown it.

#fondgoodbye.