Tag: DID PTSD flashbacks veterans

Loneliness 💐

Posted in autoimmune disease, chronic pain, depression, Gethsemane lessonsFormat Post format: ImageLeave a comment

I bless my lonely life. It is teaching me to go deep with You Yahweh. You are the God who sees me.

And btw … thank you for cats. mysterious and solitary, they can be happy anywhere.

They have this cozy “zone” inside of them– curl up in a ball, close their eyes and be the epitome of cozy.

Instructive thought. Thank You God.

Friends with benefits

SRA yuckiness

Posted in breakthrough, DID, PTSD, flash back recoveryFormat Post format: ImageLeave a comment

Warning potentially triggering material proceed with caution.

I had a very graphic dream last night and immediately wrote it down and am happily making plans for what I’m going to do with this information.

But…

I’m a little stressed out.

Just in case there’s someone who’s also Survivor… I don’t want to act like it’s a piece of cake and I never have to do therapy.

So yeah we’re making plans…. more later.

Wise as a serpent; innocent as a dove

Posted in recoveryFormat Post format: ImageLeave a comment

FLOAT like a butterfly 🦋

STING like a bee 🐝

Mohammed Ali

Remember that famous description of Mr. Ali’s fighting style?

Well! Jesus uses a similar kind of image to communicate how Christians must live in their world.

Hmmm…

Boot camp for my brain

Posted in autoimmune disease, Christian life, Covid19, depression, modern life, S.R.A. And D.I.D. Recovery, stress management, suicide, Veterans issuesFormat Post format: ImageLeave a comment

I opened my Youversion app to read the Bible today.
So sad and beleaguered, you guys! Rough, loooong night with health stuff.

I tend to get suicidal when my MS is acting up, so I go to the Bible extra hardcore at those times. Even before I start to think in the morning. Knee jerk I’m training 💪 my brain to automatically do.

Armor up, right?

Oh my sparkly socks.

what I found, my peeps!

God’s been doing great things this year! I just read about some of the ways God’s been at work in the YouVersion Community, and I think you’ll love this. Let’s celebrate together! https://blog.youversion.com/?p

Youversion link this morning

Sooooo encouraging!


I hate fakey sacharin sweet Christian-ese.
It makes things feel worse.
So……. I almost didn’t click on it.

But I’m so glad I did after all!
I did not realize what The Holy Spirit was up to during this pandemic!

Part of the plan

Posted in 12 steps, Ammends, autoimmune disease, Christian life, church hurts and healing, Covid19, death of a child, depression, marriage, modern life, prodigals, recovery, S.R.A. And D.I.D. Recovery, suicideFormat Post format: ImageLeave a comment
Ummmm.

Make your light shine  through me ❤️ that was in my devo this morning.

I’m so tired because of ~~fill in the blank~~ ! 

God, You’ve got to do this helpingthedisenfranchisedoftheworld business for me. I feel so distracted and beleaguered by my STUFF!!!

Jesus.  PapaGod. Holy Spirit.

Help me. Help us.
Give us power from on high. Like Jesus said.


Don’t let me fail You.
(Sorry God. That was kind of Fruedian.  See what I mean?)

What is going ON here, God? I feel like I’m in prison! The prison of consequences. The prison of my wacked feelings. Depression. Anxiety. Freakedoutness.

deep shaky breath.

I trust You.

Oh Right.

You ARE doing the thing already.
You know perfectly well that I am a shut in. Or a divorcee. It disabled. Or addicted. Or in therapy. Or mentally ill. Or a disabled vet.
You are the One Who gave the devil permission to mess with me and my family, after all. Like in Job.

Image from Youversion

It’s all part of the plan.

 Even my screwups.

It’ll work out.