It’s challenging to find balance when my addiction is a behavior that continues to be a necessary part of my life, don’t you find? It’s like with an eating addiction, you’re not ever going to stop eating. But you can find new ways to think and talk about eating.
Sexual addiction has been my row to hoe. Sexuality, as a married woman, needs to be a healthy part of my life. But am i still able to walk in purity in my mind, you know?
Regarding my addiction du jour: coming up on ten years of abstinence. It feels pretty good. It does get easier, but an occasional rematch is still called for.
I am not beyond falling off the wagon. Ever. I walk careful. I mean right?
I find that so much of addiction involves MY THINKING. I depend on the Holy Spirit to help me. Some of my triggers are very subtle in the beginning, which is when I want to catch any imbalance.
I have to STAY in the Bible every morning. That’s part of my recovery. If I spend my energy putting GOOD IN, then I don’t have to worry as much about keeping bad stuff OUT.
I don’t read romance novels. Or even go down that aisle in the grocery store. Just maintenance for me. Not for every Christian woman, necessarily.
I watch my language. No, I don’t mean what you would think by that. I mean howI am talking.
If I talk about my sexual-ness as a way to bless my marriage, keep holy secrets, and show my loyalty to God instead of a way to prove something to the 🌎 or be selfish or destroy myself, then my thinking tends to fall in line with that.
I love my life. I love my freedom. I respect myself. I am learning to be kind to myself.
Do you ever wonder what Abigail and Nabal were really like?
#Good story (I Samuel 25)
I always thought she was a spineless, codependent wuss.
But I think I might have misjudged her.
Maybe she just believed in Nabal and loved him and he was her best friend and they had been through stuff together–births, miscarriages, deaths in the family, starting a business, Christmases and birthdays, mac’n’cheese and filet mignon—you know, stuff.
Maybe she just wouldn’t give up on him.
Maybe she just believed in her Nabe.
And if Nabe failed her, then fine: in God.
Maybe she just wanted to keep her wedding promises.
Maybe she just wanted to trust in God about Nabal and wanted to do right by Him.
I don’t know.
I can trust God with my marriage 😍
My man loves his family. He has bucco good qualities.
Myman wants to be a good husband and father. More than anything. He tries really hard; I know some of what he’s had to overcome.