Different 🌼

There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God.~ Brother Lawrence My dad was a negative, impatient person. He had a personality disorder, i think, looking back. This fact has colored how I relate to God; i was reminded of this duringContinue reading “Different 🌼”

It had to happen

Inevitable. Hubby and I were on a date, and there she was ~ our son`s new mom. 💔 Our son might have been there too; we don’t know. He’s in college somewhere, I think. Maybe he went back to the car when he saw us; maybe we could have seen him. We just don’t know.Continue reading “It had to happen”

It takes heart ❤

Wow. Three days have gone by without me even looking at the Bible. It sneaks up on me…. YouTube sermons are ok and all, but its not the same as getting my own food, you know? —— i avoid being quiet and talking to God because the stuff I am dealing with is yucky..then, whenContinue reading “It takes heart ❤”

Rough Season– don’t you think?

 I’m surprised we’re still here, aren’t you? I have now listened to the Ps 121, Ps 37, Ps 18 and\or Rick Warren, Joyce Meyer, Beth Moore, RT Kendall, Steven Furtick and a bunch of other sermons and scripture. Roughly 32 billion times. Conclusion…we are going to make it guys.  strengthandcourage.That is what I am talkingContinue reading “Rough Season– don’t you think?”

Big Bad Mamma Jamma

Trauma vs. Faith thinking. I am scared tonight. It is 3 am and my stomach is knotted with fear. Something wicked happened deep in the bosom of my family. and I’m not sure how to get over it. (Jesus, will I ever get over it?) Freaked out:. 😨 Aaaaaaahhhh! I am so grateful tonight… 1.Continue reading “Big Bad Mamma Jamma”

Not liable

Jesus thank You for c-a-r-e- ing about my MS and my heart problems and my mental illness and my parenting failures.  I want You.d-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-e-ly It helps that my life is so difficult for me.  I’m not tempted to be satisfied with it.  If I was Effortlessly beautiful and Incredibly popular and Eminently successful and hadContinue reading “Not liable”

Self-soothe: an important skill

The prodigal welcome. This feels too good to be true for me. I learned to expect painful treatment, as a kid, if I ever FINALLY penetrated through my parents’ constant miasma of negative self talk about stuff that I needed. Like a hug or a sweater or a quiet space or kind words. Not thatContinue reading “Self-soothe: an important skill”

Flashback nightmares ⚡

Jesus. Thank you for this uncomfortable and debilitating mental problem. Holy Spirit help me to submit and learn from my stuff instead of wasting my energy fighting it. I intensely want Your comfort.  My vision of myself and my life is broken.  I am weary in every way. I need You God.  I intensely wantContinue reading “Flashback nightmares ⚡”