Who’s sleeping right now?

You know who you are. ❤

God: I have a new pain in my head. 

It is 2:40 am.  Everyone is sleeping in my house. 

I just asked You for the strength to get dressed and get up to take some organifi.  It’s all I could think to do.

Im scared that MS is forming a new schlerosis in the posterior left of my brain.

Up an c dressed, i found that my young adult son happened to be up and have some water ❤ ready to stir the organifi powder into. ( He was just going to drink it, I assume. ….Wait…. That’s rather remarkable, God. The timing. Wow.)

I’m so sick of all the chemicals which well-meaning but ignorant modern medicine folks are pushing at me because of my disease!  Help me.  Jesus rescue me! 

You know what I need.  What plants will help.  Tell me.

I keep hearing Brain Derived Neurotropic Factor.  BDNF.  from Organifi.  ok…Help me to afford this Lord.  My hubby has not wanted to let us spend this money.  My insurance won’t pay for alternative meds.  (Though they will pay for the shots at $6000 a month which have all kinds of side effects. Thin Smile.)  I think it is $80 a month for the BDNF.  PLEASE provide this for me God.

Also: the message at church ⛪ yesterday! ( Elevationchurch.org guest speaker ~ 1st Sunday in September) 

  THANKYOU. 

I felt like it was just for me.  I feel like I’m in a solitary battle for my family and my health.  I feel kinda picked on, in truth.

  i declare this: I’m not picked ON but rather picked OUT.

Just for right now, the organifi nutrition is helping:  my head pain is lessening.

getting sleepy.  I will take my ashwaganda Valerian gummies. Just a sec…..

Not panicking.   What’s the worst thing that can happen?  OK.  I’m imagining that.  Now I’m putting You in that picture.  ❤

I can do this.  This is how I fight my battles. 

New courage

Thank you Jesus.   Help all the sick people and lonely people and sad people who are up facing battles alone, too, tonight. 

Thanks for your

sweet

kind

strong

presence with us.

Each person that wants You.  

Because Jesus
Kicked the devils face in ~ beating him at his own game.  at Calvary.   (Gen. 3 ~ He [the Offspring] will crush his [the devil] head and he [evil] will bruise Your heel… emphasis mine)


JESUS.   GOD WITH US.  EMMANUEL. 

You are the God who sees me. 
I love You ….. so I’m not alone. 

No matter who’s sleeping right now.

Select grade AA

Okay: How do we live in this dark, confused time in history?

God, help us, k?
I hear my peeps. Our hearts are weary and burdened. We’re like sheep without a shepherd, sometimes.

(obviously, before social distancing)

 brothers and sisters all.

I feel it too.  💜


I trust You Father.


You picked the time for me to be born, so I would be 50 right now. 

You picked my family and my nation. 

You picked my children and parents and siblings.


I thank You for the good and bad things in my life.


I pray and trust and look for ways to be “salty and lit”. (Matt 5)

You say You have good and hopeful plans for my future.  Jeremiah 29:11, right?

The glass is indeed half full.


I believe You. 💕

Peace 🕊️

–moma jenn

Processing…

Some kids that I care about are making bad choices right now.

Broken hearted parent

I know Jesus will not blow sunshine about this.
He will tell me the truth.

Not everything that my kids do as adults is about me

But some of it is.

Parenting mistakes

I did make some really bad mistakes
Especially when the twins (child #4 and #5,) were little and I was in the worst of my addiction and disassociation and losing time.

Especially when my kids got older and we got in adult-type arguments.

I remember new stuff all the time. Now that I am flat on my back in bed. I try not to obsess over it.

I own it. I’m sorry.

I’m learning new skills.

That’s all I can do.

But
God can do more.

God
Will
Restore
The

Years

Those bad choices stole from us.

I’m grafted in to Abraham in Jesus. I claim this promise in all it’s spiritual richness and meaning. It’s mine.

He’s got a multi generational plan going here.

I trust Him at His word.

Rough Season– don’t you think?

 I’m surprised we’re still here, aren’t you?

I have now listened to the Ps 121, Ps 37, Ps 18 and\or Rick Warren, Joyce Meyer, Beth Moore, RT Kendall, Steven Furtick and a bunch of other sermons and scripture.

Roughly 32 billion times.

i love 💕 it

Conclusion…we are going to make it guys. 

strengthandcourage.That is what I am talking about.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That’s in 2 Corinthians.

#gonnamakeit

God is not going to overestimate my stress capacity.  He’s got the specs…….

For my soul.

The Bible says “He formed my inward parts in the secret places”  ps 139.  That has got to include capacity indications.

Like I know how many corn dogs my kids will eat when I’m cooking. Like I know how much ⛽ to put in my car when I’m filling it.

I have to start by giving it to Jesus

asking for His help just to breathe.

trust God.

He’s got the specs:

Speak.

Wow. JESUS is kind of in-your-face about Himself, isn’t He.

   Must have made an impression on the gospel writer; look, he quotes Jesus verbatim many years later!  

I suppose the writer had been telling these accounts the whole time verbally, so that kept the events fresh in his mind.

  And I’m sure the Holy Spirit helped him remember as well.

I’m so glad I have the Bible!  

Bless You God.  Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

Thankful.🙏

Trade

I used to think I was hot stuff. I did everything. Was in control of it all. Kept all my plates spinning. Was a bit bossy and abrasive, frankly.
woMan on a Mission
Then MS happened and DID happened and foolish life choices happened…all ashes But all that doesn’t matter now. As much as Jesus. He’s got a plan for me which is good and hopeful and full of promise. (Jeremiah 29:11) He’s enough. He’ll work it out. He will give me beauty for those darn ashes. (Isaiah 61)
Paul tells himself the truth

Things I love

I’m so sad. Grief is hard work, ya know?

Time for a list. Reboot my 💜

  • California poppies
  • Yellow m&ms with peanuts
  • Depends Silhouettes (just keepin’ it real)
  • Clean sheets after a warm 🛁
  • 🐈laying in puddles of 🌞
  • My 🐕. They have such a great attitude, no matter what. #overcomeevilwithgood
  • Taco salad 🥗 from Wendy’s©
  • Queen Anne’s Lace and pink sweet peas
  • Birthdays 🎁🎂🎉
  • Vegetables – colorful, munchable variety
  • Crocheted afghans
  • My small group at Elevation
  • Rays of 🌞 streaming in my window
  • Chocolate 🍫in moderation
  • Learning new skills (current fave listening)
  • My Youversion Devotional- super encouraged
  • Holy Spirit- always there
  • Jesus – endlessly awesome 😎
  • Father God – so kind and full of integrity and wisdom
  • Unstoppable spring
  • Myths and stories
  • Ireland and Artemis Fowl
  • Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, stages of grief #incrediblyhelpful
  • Toe socks with fun patterns

Thank You 💕 God. Hug received 🤗