When your child gets abused

One of the hardest things I have ever had to go through was when my five year old child disclosed to us that my beloved big brother had abused him.

Fact: i was not sure how I would ever get over this.

What id like to have done to my brother 😪

Isn’t that

the worst thing

a parent

would never like to know?

I remember saying to my auntie* on the phone right before my man and I went to the police, “how do I get over this?” …..She was wise enough not to answer.

(*sole available functional family member)

I don’t even like to think about this, so why am I bringing it up?

Because it would have meant the world to me fifteen years ago to know somebody with some wisdom had been there. To know that a person can get over this and have some a future afterwards. To know how that might look. To know that there can be a good life on the other side of this thing.

To know that I could ever be happy again.

Seriously ?

(Sorry if I am making you uncomfortable dears, ❤ but somebody has to break the silence!)

How did I do it? Well, it’s like when your child dies: you just keep waking up the next day, and the next….working and talking….and it gets less and less painful….until it becomes just another part of your story, something you’ve got under your belt.

Here are my seven key strategies:

1. Talk, talk, talk. As a family. To my girlfriends. To a counselor. Vitally important. Try to talk some every day for the first six months. Even just “our family is going to make it through this experience “.

2. Meaningful, safe touch. Hugs and pats on the back 🤗 at least one daily. You and your children.

(ask permission first.)

3. Get some help. Police, of course, but that is only the beginning. I love almost all counseling. Very helpful.

4. Be careful who you tell the first few years. Not everybody can handle this type of disclosure. Protect yourself. Be safe emotionally.

5. Be as positive as you can. You WILL make it. There is still good in the 🌎. Try to laugh at least once a day.

6. Boundaries Boundaries boundaries. Be ruthless! Your family 👪 is counting on you to protect them. If you have to hurt people’s feelings, be sorry for the person BUT DONT BEND. never again. My husband and I have visited my brother a few times, but it was starting to mess with our heads so we as a couple don’t see my brother at all (not even Facebook or emails) Our kids have never seen him again in fifteen years. Yes it’s hard, Yes, our families have put incredible amounts of pressure on us. Yes we have wanted to cave. BUT WE WILL NOT BE MOVED. PERIOD.

7. Start, end and middle with Jesus every day— That is where your strength 💪 is going to flow from. Youversion. Praise music. Audio sermons. Keep it comin. You’re going through a workout and you need NUTRITION.

You can do this my friend. The first step is the hardest and you’ve already done that.

Lovely

God sometimes talks to me in my dreams.

I know that sounds weird. But there you are. I didn’t ask for the gift of prophecy. (I was raised Conservative Baptist: we didn’t believe that the gifts of the Spirit even existed anymore–except for acts of service and hospitality. )

Anyway God gave me a dream last night– however that works.

It was lovely.

He said–

Remember

Dont forget–

all this bad stuff that’s been happening in the world is just

raw material…

that I can use ( if you will trust Me) ….to bless the 🌎 and make you happy: ❤

joyful

peacful

patient

kind

good

gentle

self-controlled.

Who doesn’t want that?



I am encouraged. I want to encourage you too. 🙏

Solo hope

I never thought about this before but we are all living on islands

if you look at it as the whole earth was one land, and then God’s busted it apart during the flood and released The Fountains of the deep and then we just kept drifting apart from each other..

You are our only hope Jesus, on our islands. Literally and metaphorical-ly.

come and save us.

thank you that you will never get tired

Never quit

Never falter

Never be discouraged and give up on Your kids

Your great mission on our earth: doing good and helping all the poor and downtrodden and suffering.

#wannabethat

Bloom. 💐

I know why the caged bird sings. ~Maya Angelou

Getting sick. 

Has given me many good things. 

The elemental suffering has brought much good. 

takes away my busyness.

forces me to slow down. 

Edelweiss

Flesh mortifying.  

Clarity inducing.  

Raised to life. 

Priorities straightening.  

Do or die

Sink or swim

Blooming. 🌼

Turning a corner

I think I’ve turned a corner in my grieving over prodigals and health stuff.

I used to cry about that stuff every day. Especially the kid stuff.

Trying to maintain an attitude of forgiveness. I don’t want to have any hindrances to God being able to work in our lives.


I’m starting to remember the good times and it doesn’t hurt as much to brush up against the subject in conversations.

I don’t like bein’ miserable. That’s a good sign. Grin.

Like I said, I think I’ve turned a corner.

I feel very encouraged by that.

Heart Change 💐

I was in trouble. My marriage was dying by leaps and bounds. My mental health was toast. My faith had been shattered by several consecutive calamities.

  I went on a spiritual retreat called Heart Change in Oregon City, Oregon.  four days. I think they are in other west coast states too, now.

That was 15 years ago. 

God showed up and fixed my heart that weekend.  

I KNOW He loves me and I have his blessing and he showers me with favor.  He likes me. 

I feel like I’m in a spotlight of sparkly like from God now.

I will never be the same.

The Message Bible

things to love 🌹

I’ve been feeling lonely lately. I decided to make myself a list.Things I loveHomemade bread 🍞Crunching through Fall leavesNuts <except walnuts–they make. My mouth hurtFirst snow ❄️❄️ rare hereTaxes done , good feelingChristmas lightsHot drinks in the morning 🌄Dishwasher running in a quiet houseWiped off countersMaking snowflakesGetting through something hard and realizing I like myself… Continue reading things to love 🌹