I was thinking about this with Jesus this morning.
I want to be like this in my relationships.
Because that’s how I roll
Not because the world is perfectly safe
That’s how I can be impregnable, unassailable, undefeated.
“Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive,” C.S. Lewis wrote.
” I think Peter would have agreed. He knew pontificating about forgiveness was a whole lot easier than practicing it.
“It’s the doing that gets tough.
“But it’s the doing that should characterize the child of God.
To return evil for good is devilish,
and to return good for good is human.
But to return good for evil is Godlike.”
– -YouVersion devo
fact: Forgiving my child’s offender
was much harder
than forgiving my own offender.
(And that was almost undoable. I’m not sure it’s completely done even now.I kind of have to redo it every time I think about this guy.)
With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. –Jesus
I have loved you.
Part of me always will.
But I can’t stay here anymore, darling.
I’m moving toward the Light.
Come too, if you will.
But I’m not going back
and I can’t keep track of you.
Some kids that I care about are making bad choices right now.
I know Jesus will not blow sunshine about this.
He will tell me the truth.
Not everything that my kids do as adults is about me
But some of it is.
I did make some really bad mistakes
Especially when the twins (child #4 and #5,) were little and I was in the worst of my addiction and disassociation and losing time.
Especially when my kids got older and we got in adult-type arguments.
I remember new stuff all the time. Now that I am flat on my back in bed. I try not to obsess over it.
I own it. I’m sorry.
I’m learning new skills.
That’s all I can do.
God can do more.
Those bad choices stole from us.
He’s got a multi generational plan going here.
I trust Him at His word.