You know who you are. ❤

God: I have a new pain in my head. 

It is 2:40 am.  Everyone is sleeping in my house. 

I just asked You for the strength to get dressed and get up to take some organifi.  It’s all I could think to do.

Im scared that MS is forming a new schlerosis in the posterior left of my brain.

Up an c dressed, i found that my young adult son happened to be up and have some water ❤ ready to stir the organifi powder into. ( He was just going to drink it, I assume. ….Wait…. That’s rather remarkable, God. The timing. Wow.)

I’m so sick of all the chemicals which well-meaning but ignorant modern medicine folks are pushing at me because of my disease!  Help me.  Jesus rescue me! 

You know what I need.  What plants will help.  Tell me.

I keep hearing Brain Derived Neurotropic Factor.  BDNF.  from Organifi.  ok…Help me to afford this Lord.  My hubby has not wanted to let us spend this money.  My insurance won’t pay for alternative meds.  (Though they will pay for the shots at $6000 a month which have all kinds of side effects. Thin Smile.)  I think it is $80 a month for the BDNF.  PLEASE provide this for me God.

Also: the message at church ⛪ yesterday! ( Elevationchurch.org guest speaker ~ 1st Sunday in September) 

  THANKYOU. 

I felt like it was just for me.  I feel like I’m in a solitary battle for my family and my health.  I feel kinda picked on, in truth.

  i declare this: I’m not picked ON but rather picked OUT.

Just for right now, the organifi nutrition is helping:  my head pain is lessening.

getting sleepy.  I will take my ashwaganda Valerian gummies. Just a sec…..

Not panicking.   What’s the worst thing that can happen?  OK.  I’m imagining that.  Now I’m putting You in that picture.  ❤

I can do this.  This is how I fight my battles. 

New courage

Thank you Jesus.   Help all the sick people and lonely people and sad people who are up facing battles alone, too, tonight. 

Thanks for your

sweet

kind

strong

presence with us.

Each person that wants You.  

Because Jesus
Kicked the devils face in ~ beating him at his own game.  at Calvary.   (Gen. 3 ~ He [the Offspring] will crush his [the snake`s] head and he will bruise Your heel… emphasis mine)


JESUS.   GOD WITH US.  EMMANUEL. 

You are the God who sees me. 
I love You ….. so I’m not alone. 

No matter who’s sleeping right now.

Who’s sleeping right now?

“Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive,” C.S. Lewis wrote.

” I think Peter would have agreed. He knew pontificating about forgiveness was a whole lot easier than practicing it.
“It’s the doing that gets tough.


“But it’s the doing that should characterize the child of God.
To return evil for good is devilish,
and to return good for good is human.
But to return good for evil is Godlike.”
– -YouVersion devo

Forgiving myself 🌻

Things to 💕

  • Moonlight and Roses, performed by Jim Reeves; played that record every time I visited my Grandma Dodson when I was a kid.
  • Cotton candy stands at the County Fair. I liked the pink flavor.
  • Big band music and warm summer evenings
  • Quiet morning, sunshine, camping, bird song
  • Drive in movies, popcorn 🍿🎥
  • looking through old photos
  • Striped toe socks
  • Barrettes
  • Always Discreet Underwear – just keeping it real
  • Wendy’s 4 for 4
  • Green eye liner ✏️
  • Homemade casseroles 🥘

There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God.
~ Brother Lawrence

My dad was a negative, impatient person. He had a personality disorder, i think, looking back.

This fact has colored how I relate to God; i was reminded of this during my devotions today.

Father, thank You for showing me that You are not like that. Help me to learn to trust 🙏 and not be afraid of the other shoe dropping.

Different 🌼

Being a good mom was all I ever wanted from about about month five of my first pregnancy…

…a chance to give the gift of a beautiful childhood that I never had. Know what I mean?

My addiction took that from me.

My undiagnosed mental illness took that from me.

My dysfunctional family ways took that from me.

My own foolish choices took that from me.

That pain can drive me back into addiction

  or

 drive me into arms of Jesus.

I choose Jesus.

I forgive myself for my weakness and stubbornness and pride.

(I forgave my offenders long ago.  That was gnarly, but a piece of cake compared to forgiving myself.)

I hereby release my right to vengeance

against myself

to God.

I trust Him to make it right

 and turn this mess  

into something beautiful.

Motherhood 🌷

The thing about churches is they are full of broken people.( Like me.)Who else knows that they need Jesus better?

Jesus was always catching flaque for hanging out with sinners. Right?
But

hurt people hurt people.
That’s a thing.
So I guard my heart at church.
I give out information strategically.
Assume that I am NOT IN a safe environment. It’s more like a hospital where not over half of the patients know why they are there or even that they are sick. Some only have chill blains while others have virulent infectious lepropsy.
I must dispense my pearls of self-revelation strategically.
And if I break social norms during prayer request times, be MINDFUL of it.
And without repentance.
Because I want to BE the thing that i wish I had. 💚

From 2012
Thoughts on church

Stick it my pipe and 🚬 it