Early morning chutzpah 🌼🌸💮🏵🌼🌸

So be it 😌
  • Girlfriends asleep
  • Family asleep
  • Hubby asleep
  • Dogs asleep
  • Quiet house
  • Flu-like autoimmune symptoms
  • Already slept off my sleep aid
  • Maxed~out on ibuprofen and Tylenol for today

Here I am Jesus: it’s just me and You.

I need You;  that’s flat.

I remember others who are wakeful at 3am:

  1. inmate who is stuck with the choices he made when he was too young to know better
  2. mom of small ones. Who is up with a croupey baby again, has to get up for work in the morning, and is dreading it (*note; discover plod mode)
  3. cancer patient: sick of that inescapable, omnipresent too familiar bed
  4. prisoner in a foreign country, denied pain medication because “he is an unbeliever” (and therefore untouchable).
  5. homeless person whose newspapers and coats are not enough to keep him warm this time.
  6. psychiatric inpatient whose night mares make her fear sleep and who misses home
  7. care home patient ~ the empty ache of the seemingly forgotten
  8. woman post-abortion ~ empty arms

Can I pray 🙏 for us?

Jesus thank You for the good and the bad things in our lives. Thank You for small indestructible joys. Help us to get all the good there is to be had out of our suffering. Enlarge our souls to understand the great ocean 💙 of Your cleansing, pure, full, restoring love 💘 for us.

🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁

Grief is great. Let us be good to one another.

~The Magician’s Nephew

🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁

Suicidal thoughts


I claim this promise.  I am part of a spiritual Israel!  A new heritage. crafted in to the vine of Abrahams destiny because I am in Jesus Christ.

 where is that passage?  Oh. 2 Corinthians.

It is a spiritual reality.

 All the promises of God are yes and amen In Jesus, right?

​This was a very timely word for me.

 I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts.  

Part of my illness.  

 Brain damage from exposure to toxic chemicals.  

I believe that is what autoimmune disorders are: the immune system simply gets overwhelmed with all the chemicals of our modern lifestyles and goes haywire.

I am just not able to do anything!  Stuck in bed! And my thoughts prey upon me.

 Except I can pray.

 I need a word from God.

I have believed this lie: That it doesn’t affect change when I pray.

It’s hard for me to believe in stuff I can’t see.

 God change us. 

Give us faith. 

 Heal our thinking 

Renew our Courage and tell us again:

I matter.  I have a destiny.  I am NOT forgotten. 🙏


Unfairness


Lord God  our Father,
No one gets to live on this earth

without getting touched

by injustice or betrayal. 


No one.


You know about injustice and betrayal–for certain.



Two specific things come to mind that I am heartsore over: three betrayals within my own extended family system and/or neighborhood.

I’m sorry for hanging on to these bitter thoughts for so many years, God.  You have forgiven me of tons of yucky stuff–I release _____ now, with You helping me.

  Help me to go forward as a free woman, Jesus. 

It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand fast in it, and do not submit again to that yoke of bondage.

Don’t let me get distracted, Father.  I want to walk in freedom.

I want to take Your yoke and learn from You. 

I am exhausted and stressed out:

give me rest for my soul, God.
Amen.

put it in your pipe and smoke it

“Some people say it is morbid to be always thinking of one’s faults

“That would be all very well if most of us could stop thinking of them

“without soon beginning to think about those of other people.

“For, unfortunately, we enjoy thinking about other people’s faults.

“And in the proper sense of the word morbid,

“That is the most morbid pleasure in the world.

“We don’t like rationing which imposed upon us;

“But I suggest one form of rationing which we ought to impose on ourselves:

Abstain from all thinking about other people’s faults, unless your duties as a teacher or a parent make it necessary to think about them

“Whenever the thoughts come unnecessarily into one’s mind, why not simply shove them away and think of one’s own faults instead?”

CS Lewis, The Search for God

Big Bad Mamma Jamma

Trauma vs. Faith thinking.

I am scared tonight.

It is 3 am and my stomach is knotted with fear.

Something wicked happened

deep in the bosom of my family.

and

I’m not sure how to get over it.

(Jesus, will I ever get over it?)

Freaked out:. 😨 Aaaaaaahhhh!

I am so grateful tonight…

1. that Jesus prayed for us

to be protected

from the evil one.

2. That He forever lives

to intercede for ME

with the FATHER.

3. That heroes before me

who have fought

the enemy of our souls

and won

are cheering me on

Hebrews 11

🌻🌷🌻

Thank You God.

I feel weak

tonight.

Deep breath.

Heart rate returning to normal.

Eyelids getting heavy.

Contented sigh: Aaaaaaaaahh… 🌻🌷🌻