Early morning chutzpah 🌼🌸💮🏵🌼🌸

Girlfriends asleep Family asleep Hubby asleep Dogs asleep Quiet house Flu-like autoimmune symptoms Already slept off my sleep aid Maxed~out on ibuprofen and Tylenol for today Here I am Jesus: it’s just me and You. I need You;  that’s flat. I remember others who are wakeful at 3am: inmate who is stuck with the choicesContinue reading “Early morning chutzpah 🌼🌸💮🏵🌼🌸”

Hope when things suck

The way the 🌎 is right now doesn’t get to determine my reality. That stuff is there and I need to be a good American, but it is not my only reality. Jesus Christ is. I needed this today.

Things I love

I’m so sad. Grief is hard work, ya know? Time for a list. Reboot my 💜 California poppies Yellow m&ms with peanuts Depends Silhouettes (just keepin’ it real) Clean sheets after a warm 🛁 🐈laying in puddles of 🌞 My 🐕. They have such a great attitude, no matter what. #overcomeevilwithgood Taco salad 🥗 fromContinue reading “Things I love”

Blameless

Torturous gut-wrenching self-catered and perpetuating self-hatred. Been thinking 🤔 about this with Jesus. Working on it with my therapist. You know what the rub is? The thing I have flashbacks about and that keeps me up at night? How I must have hurt the innocents in my path during the worst of my addictions ormentalContinue reading “Blameless”

Big Bad Mamma Jamma

Trauma vs. Faith thinking. I am scared tonight. It is 3 am and my stomach is knotted with fear. Something wicked happened deep in the bosom of my family. and I’m not sure how to get over it. (Jesus, will I ever get over it?) Freaked out:. 😨 Aaaaaaahhhh! I am so grateful tonight… 1.Continue reading “Big Bad Mamma Jamma”

Boot camp for my brain

I opened my Youversion app to read the Bible today.So sad and beleaguered, you guys! Rough, loooong night with health stuff. I tend to get suicidal when my MS is acting up, so I go to the Bible extra hardcore at those times. Even before I start to think in the morning. Knee jerk I’mContinue reading “Boot camp for my brain”

6th step for parents who have abused

I’ve been thinking. About the sixth step. This is hard for parents who’ve abused or neglected their children. There’s stuff back there that I do not want to own. You know? (It’s probably hard for everyone, but I don’t have to repent for everyone–just me.) Step Six“Were entirely ready to have God remove allthese defectsContinue reading “6th step for parents who have abused”

Rubber meets road

Autoimmune disease PTSD Difficult marriage Dysfunctional family 12 steps Disabled veteran Homeschooling mom Oneincome in a twoincome economy Abuse Abandonment Church hurts Just remindin’ myself.