If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.
James 1:5-8 MSG
The way the 🌎 is right now doesn’t get to determine my reality. That stuff is there and I need to be a good American, but it is not my only reality.
Jesus Christ is.
I needed this today.
Some kids that I care about are making bad choices right now.
I know Jesus will not blow sunshine about this.
He will tell me the truth.
Not everything that my kids do as adults is about me
But some of it is.
I did make some really bad mistakes
Especially when the twins (child #4 and #5,) were little and I was in the worst of my addiction and disassociation and losing time.
Especially when my kids got older and we got in adult-type arguments.
I remember new stuff all the time. Now that I am flat on my back in bed. I try not to obsess over it.
I own it. I’m sorry.
I’m learning new skills.
That’s all I can do.
God can do more.
Those bad choices stole from us.
He’s got a multi generational plan going here.
I trust Him at His word.
My fast was a washout.
I have been reading a book about fasting. I want to supercharge my prayer time with fasting. (And ask for healing from autoimmune issues and GI stuff.)
I just said
My first try at fasting was a washout.
I have decided to reframe that thought and learn some things:
- I need to start slow. Not try to show off.
6 hours…8 hours…12 hours…24 hours…not hearing anything about after that: I think the Holy Spirit is preparing for a big battle with a 21 day fast. #Goliath
- I need to avoid computer games and social media during my time of seeking God for stuff.
- Accountability. I won’t fast alone next time.
- Holy Spirit directed. I will make sure to check ✔️ with God about what I’m doing. (I did that last time, but not the other three things.)
- Agree upon and write down when my fast ends and what were praying for with my team #focused
found another good thing which God hath accomplished by saying
to my prayers for healing over the last ten years.
There are things, you guys, which I have longed for in my marriage and parenting, and which
of good behavior, fasting, or constant prayer seemed to effect…..
Drum roll please
I am seeing them come true before my
Jesus bless and help each person
who stops by for just a pair of minutes.
We love 💕 Your words.
We love You.
But help us. It’s hard down here sometimes.
But You knew that.
You came down here.
I remember now. 😉
I’m asking for a hug today, Lord.
I mean that respectfully.
Especially during this pandemic, we need You.
We’re somewhat desperate.
Help us lighten up and not take ourselves so seriously.
We need a good Dad telling us that it will all work out.
I just heard our adult disabled daughter clear her throat loudly AGAIN.
It is 1:36 am.
Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease. (GERD.)
She has been doing this throat clearing thing about six times an hour
No, probably weeks.
I’m not sure.
Poor darling. She can hardly sleep at all.
Chinese water torture.
My heart is broken and sore and tired of suffering with her too.
I found her weeping in front of the toilet
where she had just been trying to throw up again.
With her face in her hands.
I didn’t know what to do besides pray.
So I did.
We’ve already tried banana, chamomile, honey, Apple cider vinegar, sipping hot liquids, real yogurt.
We contemplate trying dandelion root, turmeric, ginger, Zanex.
but meanwhile…here we are
God, You know about this.
You have measured the weight of it on our tired shoulders.
Held our hair away from our faces as we vomit for the umpteenth time.
Walked the floor with us at night.
When well-meaning others don’t get it.
When we ask, “Why?”
God, my daughter wonders if You answer prayer.
Both my girls do. All their friends do.
Show Yourself powerful and empathetic and wise.
Show Yourself present and kind and steady.
All the things You have shown me through suffering.
We need a Father right now.