Early morning chutzpah 🌼🌸💮🏵🌼🌸

So be it 😌
  • Girlfriends asleep
  • Family asleep
  • Hubby asleep
  • Dogs asleep
  • Quiet house
  • Flu-like autoimmune symptoms
  • Already slept off my sleep aid
  • Maxed~out on ibuprofen and Tylenol for today

Here I am Jesus: it’s just me and You.

I need You;  that’s flat.

I remember others who are wakeful at 3am:

  1. inmate who is stuck with the choices he made when he was too young to know better
  2. mom of small ones. Who is up with a croupey baby again, has to get up for work in the morning, and is dreading it (*note; discover plod mode)
  3. cancer patient: sick of that inescapable, omnipresent too familiar bed
  4. prisoner in a foreign country, denied pain medication because “he is an unbeliever” (and therefore untouchable).
  5. homeless person whose newspapers and coats are not enough to keep him warm this time.
  6. psychiatric inpatient whose night mares make her fear sleep and who misses home
  7. care home patient ~ the empty ache of the seemingly forgotten
  8. woman post-abortion ~ empty arms

Can I pray 🙏 for us?

Jesus thank You for the good and the bad things in our lives. Thank You for small indestructible joys. Help us to get all the good there is to be had out of our suffering. Enlarge our souls to understand the great ocean 💙 of Your cleansing, pure, full, restoring love 💘 for us.

🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁

Grief is great. Let us be good to one another.

~The Magician’s Nephew

🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁

Processing…

Some kids that I care about are making bad choices right now.

Broken hearted parent

I know Jesus will not blow sunshine about this.
He will tell me the truth.

Not everything that my kids do as adults is about me

But some of it is.

Parenting mistakes

I did make some really bad mistakes
Especially when the twins (child #4 and #5,) were little and I was in the worst of my addiction and disassociation and losing time.

Especially when my kids got older and we got in adult-type arguments.

I remember new stuff all the time. Now that I am flat on my back in bed. I try not to obsess over it.

I own it. I’m sorry.

I’m learning new skills.

That’s all I can do.

But
God can do more.

God
Will
Restore
The

Years

Those bad choices stole from us.

I’m grafted in to Abraham in Jesus. I claim this promise in all it’s spiritual richness and meaning. It’s mine.

He’s got a multi generational plan going here.

I trust Him at His word.

put it in your pipe and smoke it

“Some people say it is morbid to be always thinking of one’s faults

“That would be all very well if most of us could stop thinking of them

“without soon beginning to think about those of other people.

“For, unfortunately, we enjoy thinking about other people’s faults.

“And in the proper sense of the word morbid,

“That is the most morbid pleasure in the world.

“We don’t like rationing which imposed upon us;

“But I suggest one form of rationing which we ought to impose on ourselves:

Abstain from all thinking about other people’s faults, unless your duties as a teacher or a parent make it necessary to think about them

“Whenever the thoughts come unnecessarily into one’s mind, why not simply shove them away and think of one’s own faults instead?”

CS Lewis, The Search for God

Big Bad Mamma Jamma

Trauma vs. Faith thinking.

I am scared tonight.

It is 3 am and my stomach is knotted with fear.

Something wicked happened

deep in the bosom of my family.

and

I’m not sure how to get over it.

(Jesus, will I ever get over it?)

Freaked out:. 😨 Aaaaaaahhhh!

I am so grateful tonight…

1. that Jesus prayed for us

to be protected

from the evil one.

2. That He forever lives

to intercede for ME

with the FATHER.

3. That heroes before me

who have fought

the enemy of our souls

and won

are cheering me on

Hebrews 11

🌻🌷🌻

Thank You God.

I feel weak

tonight.

Deep breath.

Heart rate returning to normal.

Eyelids getting heavy.

Contented sigh: Aaaaaaaaahh… 🌻🌷🌻