Heart Change 💐

I was in trouble. My marriage was dying by leaps and bounds. My mental health was toast. My faith had been shattered by several consecutive calamities.

  I went on a spiritual retreat called Heart Change in Oregon City, Oregon.  four days. I think they are in other west coast states too, now.

That was 15 years ago. 

God showed up and fixed my heart that weekend.  

I KNOW He loves me and I have his blessing and he showers me with favor.  He likes me. 

I feel like I’m in a spotlight of sparkly like from God now.

I will never be the same.

The Message Bible

House bound 🙌

As I get older

and especially as I have been in bed for 10 years

while my friends must go on without me

I don’t know what that says, but I can relate.

and really had to go to the mattresses with God (pun intended)

and spend a lot of time alone with Him

I’m getting to where I have

this deep

peaceful

sense of well-being that is all through my slice of life.

Me and Jesus. Is that sacrilegious??

Flashback nightmare

Jesus I feel so ashamed and traumatized and worthless.

Save me.

Save the innocents whom I have let down. Their faces haunt me!

Come. Holy Spirit I need You now. Everyone I know is asleep or busy getting ready for work. My hubby was at work hours ago. I called my dogs in to lay on my bed while I read my Bible and listen to sermons.

It’s just You and me.

Do Your stuff, God. You were there. You know.

You’re my only hope. ♥

Early morning chutzpah 🌼🌸💮🏵🌼🌸

So be it 😌
  • Girlfriends asleep
  • Family asleep
  • Hubby asleep
  • Dogs asleep
  • Quiet house
  • Flu-like autoimmune symptoms
  • Already slept off my sleep aid
  • Maxed~out on ibuprofen and Tylenol for today

Here I am Jesus: it’s just me and You.

I need You;  that’s flat.

I remember others who are wakeful at 3am:

  1. inmate who is stuck with the choices he made when he was too young to know better
  2. mom of small ones. Who is up with a croupey baby again, has to get up for work in the morning, and is dreading it (*note; discover plod mode)
  3. cancer patient: sick of that inescapable, omnipresent too familiar bed
  4. prisoner in a foreign country, denied pain medication because “he is an unbeliever” (and therefore untouchable).
  5. homeless person whose newspapers and coats are not enough to keep him warm this time.
  6. psychiatric inpatient whose night mares make her fear sleep and who misses home
  7. care home patient ~ the empty ache of the seemingly forgotten
  8. woman post-abortion ~ empty arms

Can I pray 🙏 for us?

Jesus thank You for the good and the bad things in our lives. Thank You for small indestructible joys. Help us to get all the good there is to be had out of our suffering. Enlarge our souls to understand the great ocean 💙 of Your cleansing, pure, full, restoring love 💘 for us.

🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁

Grief is great. Let us be good to one another.

~The Magician’s Nephew

🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁