It had to happen

Inevitable. Hubby and I were on a date, and there she was ~ our son`s new mom. 💔

Our son might have been there too; we don’t know. He’s in college somewhere, I think. Maybe he went back to the car when he saw us; maybe we could have seen him.

We just don’t know.

Heartbroken

I guess it was gonna happen sometime. In a community this small, it’s remarkable that it took seven years to run into their family somewhere.

God why does this hurt so much? Nothing has changed~our son still left when he was 16 and eventually changed his name and joined another 👪 family (from his highschool drama club) when he was 22. Four years ago.

But it does hurt. How do I get over this, Jesus? You’ve got to help me! or I am toast.

I trust You Yahweh.

Please hold me now. I miss our son. I feel like I will never be happy again.

Be near me now. Heal my broken heart.

I believe You. 🙏❤

Early morning chutzpah 🌼🌸💮🏵🌼🌸

So be it 😌
  • Girlfriends asleep
  • Family asleep
  • Hubby asleep
  • Dogs asleep
  • Quiet house
  • Flu-like autoimmune symptoms
  • Already slept off my sleep aid
  • Maxed~out on ibuprofen and Tylenol for today

Here I am Jesus: it’s just me and You.

I need You;  that’s flat.

I remember others who are wakeful at 3am:

  1. inmate who is stuck with the choices he made when he was too young to know better
  2. mom of small ones. Who is up with a croupey baby again, has to get up for work in the morning, and is dreading it (*note; discover plod mode)
  3. cancer patient: sick of that inescapable, omnipresent too familiar bed
  4. prisoner in a foreign country, denied pain medication because “he is an unbeliever” (and therefore untouchable).
  5. homeless person whose newspapers and coats are not enough to keep him warm this time.
  6. psychiatric inpatient whose night mares make her fear sleep and who misses home
  7. care home patient ~ the empty ache of the seemingly forgotten
  8. woman post-abortion ~ empty arms

Can I pray 🙏 for us?

Jesus thank You for the good and the bad things in our lives. Thank You for small indestructible joys. Help us to get all the good there is to be had out of our suffering. Enlarge our souls to understand the great ocean 💙 of Your cleansing, pure, full, restoring love 💘 for us.

🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁

Grief is great. Let us be good to one another.

~The Magician’s Nephew

🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁

Breakthrough

​Looking through old blog entries, and I found this rough draft from right before I started fasting about my family.  So I finished it and published it.  You ever pray something and then get involved with other stuff and forget you prayed for that?

I didn’t even know fasting was for normal-average-people-21st-century folks!  I never would have seriously considered this.

But I found a book somewhere: Fasting to Freedom – the gift of Fasting by Chantel Ray.

I want to post this today because I’m actually doing it!   “to break the yoke of oppression” (Isaiah) off of my family.

I expect to be posting about some wonderful things in answer to my desperation. (God YOU are on the hook. Not to be bossy. Just desperate.)

I could not have accomplished this

 without that book

and without Jesus. 

Strike that.  

Reverse it

Rough draft I found today:

I am deeply troubled about my family, God.

We have some gnar-gnar issues.  

Complicated. 

Painful

distracting

 controversial.

!!!!!!!!!!


I

 need You

God

OR I AM toast.

 

I need Your mercy and power and grace.
What do I do Father?

I need wisdom.

I am searching.

Thank You JESUS for my sick bed : it forces me to slow down; it lets me focus. 🙏🌷🙏

Thank YOU for that book I found. 🙏🌷🙏

Thank YOU for the Holy Spirit: my personal Counselor: I cannot live without You. 🙏🌷🙏

🙏🌷🙏🌷🙏🌷🙏

God ,You know Everything: You know I’m just a regular lady

but

I want you to help my family!!!!!I

Come.

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Bull’s-eye 

https://bible.com/bible/97/psa.25.10-12.MSG

Our past mistakes and wrongdoings 

often prevent us from approaching God freely for help.

 But like David, we can choose to run to God. 

 

His calamity was too intense

 to miss the moment 

to beseech God’s help. 

 

We can have the assurance David had that 

God would forgive his wrongs 

and show him the right path.  

YouVersion devo today

 

 

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