autoimmune disease

Who’s sleeping right now?

/ strawberry0043 / Leave a comment

You know who you are. ❤

God: I have a new pain in my head. 

It is 2:40 am.  Everyone is sleeping in my house. 

I just asked You for the strength to get dressed and get up to take some organifi.  It’s all I could think to do.

Im scared that MS is forming a new schlerosis in the posterior left of my brain.

Up an c dressed, i found that my young adult son happened to be up and have some water ❤ ready to stir the organifi powder into. ( He was just going to drink it, I assume. ….Wait…. That’s rather remarkable, God. The timing. Wow.)

I’m so sick of all the chemicals which well-meaning but ignorant modern medicine folks are pushing at me because of my disease!  Help me.  Jesus rescue me! 

You know what I need.  What plants will help.  Tell me.

I keep hearing Brain Derived Neurotropic Factor.  BDNF.  from Organifi.  ok…Help me to afford this Lord.  My hubby has not wanted to let us spend this money.  My insurance won’t pay for alternative meds.  (Though they will pay for the shots at $6000 a month which have all kinds of side effects. Thin Smile.)  I think it is $80 a month for the BDNF.  PLEASE provide this for me God.

Also: the message at church ⛪ yesterday! ( Elevationchurch.org guest speaker ~ 1st Sunday in September) 

  THANKYOU. 

I felt like it was just for me.  I feel like I’m in a solitary battle for my family and my health.  I feel kinda picked on, in truth.

  i declare this: I’m not picked ON but rather picked OUT.

Just for right now, the organifi nutrition is helping:  my head pain is lessening.

getting sleepy.  I will take my ashwaganda Valerian gummies. Just a sec…..

Not panicking.   What’s the worst thing that can happen?  OK.  I’m imagining that.  Now I’m putting You in that picture.  ❤

I can do this.  This is how I fight my battles. 

New courage

Thank you Jesus.   Help all the sick people and lonely people and sad people who are up facing battles alone, too, tonight. 

Thanks for your

sweet

kind

strong

presence with us.

Each person that wants You.  

Because Jesus
Kicked the devils face in ~ beating him at his own game.  at Calvary.   (Gen. 3 ~ He [the Offspring] will crush his [the snake`s] head and he will bruise Your heel… emphasis mine)


JESUS.   GOD WITH US.  EMMANUEL. 

You are the God who sees me. 
I love You ….. so I’m not alone. 

No matter who’s sleeping right now.

Stayontarget!

/ strawberry0043 / Leave a comment

Remember that scene from Star wars The empire fights back where they’re trying to get a shot off into the heart of the death Star?

All these pilots are crashing and burning and dying and the leader keeps saying stay on target 🎯🎯🎯 then Luke finally gets a shot off

Luke finally blows up the death star,
by turning off his targeting computer, and using the force.

I was reminded of that scene when I found this verse.

“You rightly instruct us in how to live ever faithful to you….”

“You are right and you do right, God ; your decisions are right on target.

https://bible.com/bible/97/psa.119.137-144.MSG

Early morning chutzpah 🌼🌸💮🏵🌼🌸

/ strawberry0043 / Leave a comment
So be it 😌
  • Girlfriends asleep
  • Family asleep
  • Hubby asleep
  • Dogs asleep
  • Quiet house
  • Flu-like autoimmune symptoms
  • Already slept off my sleep aid
  • Maxed~out on ibuprofen and Tylenol for today

Here I am Jesus: it’s just me and You.

I need You;  that’s flat.

I remember others who are wakeful at 3am:

  1. inmate who is stuck with the choices he made when he was too young to know better
  2. mom of small ones. Who is up with a croupey baby again, has to get up for work in the morning, and is dreading it (*note; discover plod mode)
  3. cancer patient: sick of that inescapable, omnipresent too familiar bed
  4. prisoner in a foreign country, denied pain medication because “he is an unbeliever” (and therefore untouchable).
  5. homeless person whose newspapers and coats are not enough to keep him warm this time.
  6. psychiatric inpatient whose night mares make her fear sleep and who misses home
  7. care home patient ~ the empty ache of the seemingly forgotten
  8. woman post-abortion ~ empty arms

Can I pray 🙏 for us?

Jesus thank You for the good and the bad things in our lives. Thank You for small indestructible joys. Help us to get all the good there is to be had out of our suffering. Enlarge our souls to understand the great ocean 💙 of Your cleansing, pure, full, restoring love 💘 for us.

🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁

Grief is great. Let us be good to one another.

~The Magician’s Nephew

🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁 🦁

Good grief 🙄

/ strawberry0043 / Leave a comment

🙏 so…I have started thinking about my friendships, right?

This might be TMI. You have been warned.

Who do I like? Who loves God? Who sees the world like I do?
Which people can I help 🤔 ? Who could maybe help me back?
Can I manage a visit with my health?
So yesterday, I asked an acquaintance out for ☕.


RECOMMENDED ~ Holly Furtick’s last sermon on support systems:

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This friend and I did a car date because I was too tired 😫 to get out of the vehicle. She works with special needs people so she probably got it. Actually, I think it was her idea.

It was so fun, you guys!!
We went to Dutch Bros and got ☕ then a park
We talked and talked.

But then ….. dah dah dummm……💩poosplosion. Oh no!
It was everywhere! It was uncontrollable!

At least I didn’t get it in her car.

At least my discreet undies did their job.

At least it held off ’til I was in my house trying to say goodbye.


However, ⛅ of flies were following me into my bedroom, .

It was mortifying

Now : I have avoided this person for days.

This is dysfunctional, I am aware of that fact, thank you very much.

TODAY, I will beard the lion and see if we can get over this.

Wish me luck!

It takes heart ❤

/ strawberry0043 / Leave a comment

Wow. Three days have gone by without me even looking at the Bible. It sneaks up on me…. YouTube sermons are ok and all, but its not the same as getting my own food, you know? ——

i avoid being quiet and talking to God because the stuff I am dealing with is yucky..then, when I get quiet enough to talk to God, it hurts!

  I repent, God, 😞 for all the social media and comedy skits and candy crush and Scrabble…
Which I have used to drown out my pain.
I want to run 🏃‍♂️ into Your arms …
not to Comedy Central or reruns of Monk. Or Scrabble.

———- loneliness shame depression discouragement powerlessness rejection——–

Jesus give me

The COURAGE

to go there

and to go all the way

with You.

Give me a Quiet Soul