reboot my ❤

Yep. It was a bad one. Last night, I mean.. Very vivid.

The thing about flashbacks is they are

very one dimensional.

Very monsterized.

They have none of the grace and maturity which the Holy Spirit is working so hard to teach me. It’s like I’m 8 years old in my memories. Or 24, which is when my first child was born.

I KNOW better than that now.

I am learning to forgive myself and give myself a break.

That God knows …. and is working my trauma into a great plan (now that I have forgiven and released them and He can get ahold of them.)

My flashbacks know nothing of that.

Getting better is a lot like reparenting myself. Don’t you think?

I just have to reboot my heart and that takes a little time. I am getting faster and better at it.

I should blog this, huh. It might help my veterans and abuse survivors. #cptsdandptsdsuck #bethethingiwishihad #reframeit