reboot my ❤

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I was reading in the book of Nehemiah where it talks about all the families who helped him rebuild the wall. Devo reading for today.

This made me feel sad.

I’ve always been kind of family poor and lacking in social skills that might help me to connect with others. Common among abuse survivors. 🤔.

Mostly I get along: I have a few good friends and have Jesus. Me and Him are really close. So that’s a thing.

But I still need healing about my family or lack thereof.

I don’t know how to make sense of my isolation sometimes. I suspect it might be fairly common among abuse survivors or folks with PTSD or autoimmune stuff: those are very isolating things, right?

And I’m also thinking of the verse that talks about Jesus being a Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief. Isaiah 53?

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I get along fine with men but I have a hard time with women. I know, weird, right? Further stuff which isolates me. Good grief! I feel like I need to compete with other women and protect myself. It’s very dysfunctional. It’s like the very thing I need, I am keeping myself from!! That’s a whole ‘nother blog entry.

Jesus please heal me . My connector is broken; my chooser is broken. Please make me whole.

So…I think God gets me. I’m gonna enjoy my life while I wait for Him to work, trust God and do good. Show me one person I can help with my words today.

It’s a work in process.

Amen