I wrote this about a year ago. Found it today. I thought it might help someone else with their stuff. I know it helped me!
I started to read a devotional yesterday, from my youbible. I’m just now getting back from Trigger Land. Rough day for my family. Rough day for me. (I know. I need counseling. Ive BEEN in counseling since I was 19!)
The selection which sent me off to lala land was entitled: “God understands when you feel guilty.” Sounds totally innocent, right?
This has been my `Achilles Heal’. Parenting GUILT.
Yeah, God is working on it with me. ‘come a long way. BUCCO hours of counseling and retreats and intervention….
I had flat out REFUSED to forgive myself for some of my disassociative episodes when my kids were little–furious with myself.
…..that changed as of May 6, 2021—Decided to let myself off the hook— Thank you, pandemic and autoimmune stuff. Had to face it and deal.–good times (thin smile)
JESUS You know.
I supermuch relate to Mary Magdalene, (from whom Jesus had cast out seven demons. Mark 16:9 ) I see her as the lady with ‘problems in Jesus ‘ group.
That’s like me.
I feel like i will never get over this.
It seems like a herculean task, God.
I guess that’s kind of the point? Why I’m here talking to You?
Verse. Just a sec…
We need You God. You know why. You are the Lord of Time. You were there.
You are our only hope. Please help someone else, too, with this pain.
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