I want to be a deep spirited friend to the people in my life.
I’ve learned early (like preverbal) that I could not count on anyone.

Therefore: I’ve tended to be deeply lonely.
(Instructive thought)
Jesus has answered that need finally
( well I let Him answer that need finally )
now that I’m 50.
I’m very grateful. ……..But I’m still a little bit lonely too. It’s a work in process.
I think that this is why I try so doggone hard in my relationships.
Which is partly good and partly bad.

Father I just need help ~ You know me inside and out. You know why I’m lonely and what’s broken in me it needs to get fixed. You are the only one who can fix it because You’re the Lord of time and it happened years ago.
I am searching.
I’m extremely motivated.
I have time because I’m sick and partially bedridden.
I will keep trying to find answers; but I need You.
I’m toast without You and that’s flat. ❤

Alone doesn’t have to mean lonely.
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