reboot my ❤

I had a nightmare about my children last night and was seeking comfort in the scriptures and worship.

thankful for His kindfaithfulsteadysupportive presence.

I am just going to offer something, because I know this is a hard day for lots of people as well.

Motherhood has not been all that we thought it would be has it? 

Whether it’s undiagnosed mental illness and addiction that stole MY dreams of what motherhood should be like or infertility and chemicals in the environment or a difficult marriage or a grueling health diagnosis or grinding job that stole what motherhood should be like from YOU…

It’s not been

what we thought it would be

or wished it would be

has it?

I was thinking of 2 Corinthians where Paul talks about learning to live with his mistakes from before he was a Christian. At least that’s how I interpret it reading between the lines.

That sounds iffy; I don’t mean to be adding or subtracting with scripture.

Just imagining what the people’s lives were like it or what their frame of reference might have been like you know?

This one thing I do:

forgetting what is behind

and pressing on to what is ahead…

I count all things as loss in order to gain the prize of Jesus.

Phillipians 3 and 2 Corinthians

I was also thinking of eagles.

I looked up facts about them when I was trying to understand Isaiah 40. They use the energy of the storm and the energy of the obstacle and the energy of their height and they lock their wings and sore and ride the thermals.  

Like when there’s a storm they will just fly right into it on purpose and then use it to get up over it or navigate around it.

Jesus I want to be like an eagle: I want to soar using the heartbreaking things the enemy would like to destroy me with

using those very things and triumphing over evil with good.

Like You did.