Flip side 🌻🌷🌻

https://bible.com/bible/113/pro.12.18.NIVUK

I found it! Another thing that getting sick for years has given me. At long last:

the gift of silence

  • Golden, beautiful
  • Perfectly beneficial
  • Exactly timed

When I was a young woman, I was reckless and unstoppable with my words. Bull in a china shop.

It served me well.

“Well, it’s TRUE”

was my mantra and the only measuring stick I used for my words.

Growing up in a home with child abuse in it:

  • that I had to live with
  • that no one would believe me about
  • that no efforts of mine would ever seem to change

caused me to NEVER WANT to be silenced again.

Even when I should be quiet.

I made a vow: When I get out of here, no one is ever going to shut me up again.

It turned me into a monster: I couldn’t be silenced.

  • Even when I wanted to.
  • Even when it was in my best interests to remain silent.
  • Even when I talked to myself before a social function and said now Jennifer, I want you to be quiet this time.

nope. nada. not a possibility babe.
I couldn’t do it.

Open mouth. Blat my brains out.

Then came the inevitable

  • Tense silences
  • Frozen smiles
  • Hurt feelings

Yikes!

It feels good to be able to hold my peace now. It’s a pleasure I’m learning to love.

...mostly im just too gibley tired to shoot my mouth off. #veryhelpful #autoimmunestuff

My fearless truth-telling has served me well in the past.

I honor it.

But I’ve outgrown it.

#fondgoodbye.

Published by strawberry0043

i am married to my best friend. I love Jesus more than life. I have an autoimmune disorder. I have joyfully born five children and been pregnant with seven. I have a disabled child. I have a mentally ill family member who abused my child and lied about it. I have one prodigal child who I may never see again.💚 I enjoy dealing with life as it is, not as it should be.💚 I have been unhappily and happily married to one man since 1995 (thank heaven!) I want to encourage💚 share hope in my world💚 Remind us and equip us to live in this difficult century. 💚June 2020

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