I was just telling God

I can’t do this.
If Dillon leaves our marriage, I cannot go on.

And I won’t blame him. This illness is gnarly. My body is capsizing on me. Sometimes a person just can’t anymore, I guess.

(Not that he actually said that: that was just the fear I was facing you know?)

Then I was reading ๐Ÿ“š about Ernest Shackleton… You know that story?

…In my YouVersion devo on endurance today.

I thought of Abraham and Sarah believing God for a baby.

I thought of Grandma Dodson and Sandy Irby and Pastor Nita and Nancy Lawrence and Reverend Counselor Tollman.

Faith is the substance of things not seen, but still believed. Still hoped for. Still expected.

Why do I believe? Is there some magical power in it?
Well, maybe or maybe not. I’ve read some stuff about belief.

But that’s not gonna cut it for me.

This hurts too bad

and it’s too scary.

So… Why do I believe?

๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒป

Cause He’s good for it. The Person I believe IN can do anything. He’s the singlemost wonderful, charming, kind, powerful, aware, caring, motivated and invested, FABulous Person I have ever come in contact with…

and He has won my love and respect. ๐Ÿ’•

๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒป

God, save my marriage.

Save my children.

Save me.
I trust in You. You can fix this. You can do ANYTHING.

But even if you dont…..I will still trust in You.

It’s a giant leap into the dark

Armed with…… not much

Trusting that You will catch me.

๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒป

Shipwreck ๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒป

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