True grit : the struggle is real

I was thinking about my neighbor.   I baked 🍞 yesterday.  God very clearly directed me to give her one of my loaves. How? Not sure. But He has no trouble getting His point across does He? (Thanks a lot God, BTW. Wry smile.) Anyway, It was yucky.  Frozen smile.
Slimed: fussy idiot and a waste of her time?
I’ve been working on letting that go. (Ya think?) I am gonna pray to God and talk to myself about it. Think new thoughts. Everytime those feelings of humiliation and anger come back… I need a scripture to pull out.  Like a dagger in my boot, as Alger Marsh would say. Jesus help me.  I still feel slimed!  The hatred coming at me was like a stomach punch!  The look in her eyes! (Did I mention that I live in a predominantly minority race neighborhood?)
Stop that.
No. I won’t give that image air time. And my boy who was there says there was no look. Maybe that’s my bitterness talking. Jesus said love your enemies. Pray for those that despitefully use you and persecute you. Matthew 5 baby! Imagine what it must be like for her! She has to live with that. Whew! I, in comparison, only had to be around her for 5 minutes and I’m still feeling awful. Help her and her family, Jesus. Help us all.
I ask for healing and the sweet peaceful blessing of forgiveness for all of us. I’m no peach sometimes either. How long before I finally forgive my dad? He’s dead these how many years and I’m still working on it? Reboot our hearts, God. We need You.

Published by strawberry0043

i am married to my best friend. I love Jesus more than life. I have an autoimmune disorder. I have joyfully born five children and been pregnant with seven. I have a disabled child. I have a mentally ill family member who abused my child and lied about it. I have one prodigal child who I may never see again.💚 I enjoy dealing with life as it is, not as it should be.💚 I have been unhappily and happily married to one man since 1995 (thank heaven!) I want to encourage💚 share hope in my world💚 Remind us and equip us to live in this difficult century. 💚June 2020

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