This has been a difficult subject for me.
when I first started to realize that I was really sick, I asked with desperategoingbonkers-ness, for God to please heal me.
He said no.
I DID NOT get it.
I was like, “God You can do anything. This is a snap for You. Why?”
I was upset for years. I just kept going to Jesus because: love 💘. Can’t help it. Where else am I gonna go?
But I was upset.
Recently, this has started to come into focus for me.
I heard myself telling my egroup, Fireproof, through my ⛪ church (elevation.com)
Getting sick has been the best thing to happen in my life for years.
I think something has been happening in me.
- Forgiving others
- Forgiving myself
- Slowing down
- Getting my priorities straight
- Healing in my marriage
- Healing in my parenting (two youngest eating it up, middle one is thawing toward me, oldest is offended but trying, one prodigal–im not giving up but still praying)
- A complete lifestyle change for me from uptight\driven\tortured soul coming toward peace and harmony
Maybe the point of prayer is not getting yes or no.
Maybe the point is a relationship and love and getting closer and closer to this wonderful Person: God.
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