I have found it to be helpful to know that my symptoms are normal.
Early morning waking. This has been a part of grief work all of my life. Betrayal, abandonment, shunning, sudden unhappy changes: all the same feelings of the reality, of grief crashing in like a Mac truck when I first come awake. (Often at around 3am.what is that?)
Two things occurred to me about this morning’s Mack truck as I was making my tea.
- blog, in case my words might help someone else.
- reframe early morning waking. It is not only unpleasant: it is also a chance to tell myself the truth.
My family is a mess. I’m terminally ill. It sucks. Those things are true .
And yet: does it follow that I must be permanently miserable?
- There are still my things to love. Endless chosen delight.
- God is still going to rescue and heal us. It’s why He came. Isaiah 61-3
- I can give to\share this with my Jesus. I revel in that connection. He gets it. He’s my best Friend. Always watching. Always interested. Always knows what to do. Always knows all the history and loves us all.
I will let that early morning waking be my cue to REBOOT MY HEART. 💛