​Our oldest son

 stormed out at 16 and moved in with another family from his drama club.  He is now 22.

I think the time has now come when it would help a fellow human being love their own rebellious adult child or cheating spouse better if I share this. 

 

First of all we need you to know just how much we love you and are proud to be your parents. 

That being said we have come to the realization that we need to give you space and allow for separation and individuation. Which means we would like to release you from any family obligations, such as b-days, Easter, Christmas etc. We can tell that these are hard for you and it feels like you do not really want to be here but feel obligated. So we want to release you from that. 

It is pretty obvious to everyone in this household that you do not really want to spend time with us or you would make it happen. We understand you have school and things like that, but there comes a time when it is just more than that. 

So to spare people’s feelings, and to spare them from being hurt, we want to release you to do whatever it is you need to do. If you choose to be a part of another family we do not want to be in your way. We do not say that to be manipulative, we say that because it is blatantly obvious that you would rather consider yourself part of that family, including the comment posted that mom saw on facebook about siblings.  

We cannot make you want to spend time with us. If you do not want to be here we do not want you here. It needs to be your choice. We want you to be free. 

So we release you. However the door is always open. 

We do not even expect a reply. 

We wish the best,

We love you, 

Mom and Dad

Tough love. Who is this tougher for, kid or parent? Yikes. 💔

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