I was an uptight, legalistic mom when they were little; I modeled all the wrong stuff about God to them.
I bet God didn’t appreciate it either; although I’m sure that He’s always understood the shame that was underneath my legalism. 💛
A friend helped me see 👀 that I was projecting my negative attitude about myself onto my children, and kind of onto EVERYONE in my world 🌎
I’ve had a breakthrough.
I’ve realized that my grownup kids are grownups; I resolve with God’s help to let them be just that.
- I will accept them the way they are. Even if they decide to be bisexual or have an abortion or be an atheist or whatever. Yikes that BITES.
- I can’t make another person be anything.
- I won’t try any more, with God’s help.
- Look at the cross: God feels pretty darn strongly about free choice and also about keeping doors open.
I will read that book and listen to that music with an open mind, open heart. Maybe I’ll learn something, and it shows respect for their thoughts, which is what they need right now if my psychology text books are correct.
Separation and individuation, right?
Not that I’m not looking forward to reproachmont. 😉
It’s great that they want to move to Arizona or Hawaii or Timbuktu. Or that they want to be like another family they admire.
I think it’s great to find something you love–Go for it!
I release them to follow their dreams and not to settle.
I can’t make anyone be anything. I won’t try any more.
That’s the way God loves me: that’s the way I want to love.