Just like me

Something happened to our family.
Actually its happened three times.
We took someone in to stay with us for awhile…and it turned out VERY badly.

The last time almost as badly as it could have…the police were brought in and they had to be forcibly evicted.  I still have people who hate my family and won’t talk to me over this. Or who I’m afraid to talk to because the whole thing just hurts so much and anyway I don’t want to make them choose sides. (We went to the same church)


It left a sour taste in all of our mouths.
It left
me wondering what im doing wrong.

Is it foolish to want to share my home and love people?

The only good thing i can see coming out of it so far:
Well
Two things.

1. We know “we’re not all that and a bag of chips” as my Rosie would say.
Because how could i lose my cool so badly as i did when those people would not let me into my chest freezer to get some chicken for dinner because it “was in their home” (ummm…i thought it was our garage) if i was a good christian woman?
2. They are gone. Profound relief.

that CANNOT be the only good to come out of this.  God is bigger than that.

 So ive been puzzling over this.

The last three people we took in to our home have ended up hating our guts.

 I totally lost my religion with the first and third ones.

Seriously lost my religion.   I am surprised my head didnt start turning around and foam coming out of my mouth!  Total blind rage.  It was bad you guys.  Was that me ?  Yikes!

 The second one we tried to help…a boy from church who wasn’t getting along with his step father… hates us now too. 

What is wrong with this picture? I thought i was going to help people and be Jesus to the world. Instead,  i have broken relationships, friends i cant talk to anymore, misunderstandings, swear words, stuff stolen from me and the police coming to get me in to my freezer?

One little piece the Holy Spirit showed me.
I dont know all that it means yet.
But it came into my mind that Jacob in the Bible came up against someone just like him 

Laban.

I saw that person three (and may be one) is just like my worst parts. Well maybe Good and bad parts come to think of it.  

So that tells me one reason why God let this happen.

but where do i go from here?
Surely theres a part of it that is my fault. That i need to change. That CAN  change so that i can be useful to Christ.
Maybe its me and dillon that should change.

My kids were just being kids. It can’t be them.

These people were being the same they had always been, everywhere they went. Not them.

It’s got to be us.

Surely God can fix this and still use us?

The devil CAN’T win this.  God wouldn’t let him.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored. The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) can accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God–it is dynamic and can have tremendous power].

JAMES 5:16 AMP

https://bible.com/bible/1588/jas.5.16.AMP

Talk to me guys.

Published by strawberry0043

i am married to my best friend. I love Jesus more than life. I have an autoimmune disorder. I have joyfully born five children and been pregnant with seven. I have a disabled child. I have a mentally ill family member who abused my child and lied about it. I have one prodigal child who I may never see again.💚 I enjoy dealing with life as it is, not as it should be.💚 I have been unhappily and happily married to one man since 1995 (thank heaven!) I want to encourage💚 share hope in my world💚 Remind us and equip us to live in this difficult century. 💚June 2020

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