The other s-word

I was raised by strong women who did NOT CARE FOR men.

Needless to say, this has led to many gnarly problems in my marriage(s); my first short, young, barely post-adolescent marriage did not survive it.

(That sounds weird, doesn’t it. My marriages.)

Let me clarify.

My heart completely belongs to my man of twenty-three years. Totally loyal to him.

I choose not to cogitate very much about that other, alcoholic, young, immature musician who cheated on me and was done with me in about three months when I was twenty.

So why even bring it up?

Just keepin’ it real. Not into fake-perfect-Christian-ness.

Probably not helpful to you.


For the record,

I do not fault my exTREMELY matriarchal clan: there were some very personal and heart-breaking reasons for their attitudes toward men.

But they were still messed up, and they messed ME up.

Can you relate?

Some of their reactions may have been wrong and out of balance im my family system:


ALL behavior is motivated.

And hurting people hurt people, right?

I understand.


Much counseling.

Much prayer.

Much teaching later…

Water goes under the bridge….

…suffice it to say that god has brought me to a place that is closer to the middle I think.

More balanced.




Regarding submission in marriage, I think of headship like i think of police officers or senators or doctors— God put them there to maintain order in their sphere, right? And to take care of stuff and do good.

Not all limits are harmful to me.

I don’t think the speed limit is offensive to me.

I don’t quarrel with the washing label on my clothing.

That sort of thing is there to do me good, right?


Why should I get my panties in a twist over the S-word?

Reboot my heart.

Rather than feeling stifled…. i now revel in the protection of my authorities.

Knowing that I am not ultimately responsible for EVERYthing … relaxation, relief, peace.

I love it. That is a choice I make. It makes me happy.

I LIKE knowing that the buck does not stop with me.

I am not responsible for everything.

I’m just a girl and I want to do good in the world but I am not doing other people’s stuff.

More about how to be a submitted-sweet-sane-sassy wife when my man is quiet and avoids conflict….. in the future.


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