cause that’s how God rollz (its part of the plan)

Sometimes i like to separate gnarly confusing Biblical thoughts into phrases.

Bible study class—Thanks Professor Sauerwine.

♡ In Him ♡

we have also

(For further study…why is that ‘also’ there?)

received an inheritance,


we were predestined

according to the plan

of the one

who works out

the good grandma auntie remarriage
the bad MS divorce poverty
and the ugly DID SRA and PTSD.

in agreement

with the purpose

of his will,

so that we

who had already put our hope in Christ

might bring praise

to his glory.

Ephesians 1:11‭-‬12 CSB

Look up in the dictionary:

Reboot my heart

I am thankful for the following things:

  1. Mud puddles in late spring (not too cold)
  2. Clean sheets clean pjs clean self
  3. Hydrangeas. ♡
  4. Blended white chocolate hazelnut mocha with whip
  5. Cough drops when I’m sick
  6. How my dog shakes himself all over when he gets up from his nap
  7. Sleeping babies…any species
  8. Little jewel-toned tree frogs
  9. Beach combing
  10. Hugs.. long or short



I just got through paying my mortgage… Reboot! (Because— I’m not going to lie —I like to be happy)

I chose where I focus.

God is good and there are good things in the world.

  • Baby birds chirping for their breakfast outside my window

    Mascara because some of us have blond eyelashes

    Gain scented laundry soap

    Baby plants when they first come up they only have two fat round leaves they’re precious and I want to put them in my pocket

    Watching my children grow

    fuzzy socks

Mercy in the middle (God gives hard spankin’s cont…)

Ritual abuse. Addiction. Perversion. Prison. Divorce. Infidelity.

Families can be something of a mess.

(Ya think?)

You must understand— people loved each other in my family; but they were so busy trying to survive and get up in the morning and get over our cockeyed family system, that they just did not see each other.

Too busy ‘mopping up their needs’ to see that folks were ‘tired and afraid’. (Amy Grant ‘Mercy in the middle’)

You know What I mean?

But God.

Discipline often comes in the form of hardships.

Not always, but sometimes.

I want to be careful how I say this. It’s right to be angry about abuse. It hurts.

No one else should tell me when i should forgive.

And not all suffering is my fault or about anything. Sometimes it’s just life.

But sometimes I’ve brought it on myself. And God lets the hammer fall.

I won’t monsterize people. ALL mammals love their babies.

Even people who are terrible parents (like I have been) still are trying and love their kids.

They just don’t have much to work with.

God will fix us if we ask.

Judging and criticizing is just adding insult to injury; it’s not helping and I don’t want to be there.



I want to be careful how I say this, because I think we all do the best we can. and God isn’t into punishing people or being harsh and punitive.

Also, personal responsibilty is a thing.

But is hardship at times the same as discipline from God?

I have often thought that getting sick WAS Mom’s healing.”

—H Darwood