Offenses… Against myself?

For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.
2 Timothy 1:12 KJV


What kind of things would amazing Mr. Perfect Paul have committed to Jesus?

you might be as surprised as I was to learn.

I know from other parts of the Bible, that Paul was responsible for the deaths of many Christians before he became the Apostle Paul.

What about the children and wives of his victims? Think about it: in his past life, Paul took daddies and husbands off to jail and tortured and/or executed them!

That is something to live with afterward for sure.

As a former addict, and mother, I can relate.

As a reformed judgmental-hard-hearted -hypocritical-ChurchLady, I can relate.

Additionally, there might have been offenses against Paul himself as a child in a culture that did not regard women or children very highly. Does that sound right? I might be putting too much of myself in to the scripture, but, as an abuse Survivor, I could relate to that. I don’t know for sure, but it is inevitable that hurt people hurt people right? And abuse runs in families right?

Another thing: wasn’t Paul tortured and imprisoned and finally executed because he was a Christian?

As an SRA Survivor I can relate to that.

Let’s talk turkey. What kind of things is Jesus able to guard for me?

When I forgive my offenders, I give that right of vengeance to Jesus and I expect him to make it work for my good in the end.

When I have offended myself by hurting people that I was supposed care for, whether it be by neglecting them, or judging them…I can give that hurt and disappointment in myself to Jesus.

Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.
Romans 12:19 CSB

I take that literally and I trust God to make it right. (God help us all.)

Furthermore, in the thing I’m working on at the moment, I am learning to give Jesus my offenses against myself.

Especially as a mother who struggled with addiction all her life… You can imagine there are many things that I did not do that I should have done, and things that I did that were wrong when my kids were growing up. That hurts.

I trust Jesus with those things.

I count his blood as being enough to pay for my sin.

I lay that guilt down and I do not pick it back up.

It is a matter of Faith between me and God

I trust him: He’s going to make it right.


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